When I started writing Blogs, one of my Primary Objective was to tell young Juvenile Delinquents not to be like I was. If you have pent up Anger, lose it before it destroys you. One young Delinquent who visited my Website is Emanuel Donaldson the 3rd. He is awaiting Trial for four random Murders in my Area. I certainly hope he Shared the Link among the Population. My Wife calls me Repetitious, but if they are reading my Blogs in Prison, then Success is mine.
From eight years old to fourteen years old I was someone consumed with Repressed Anger, Hate and Violence. The reason for that was from being Abused three times in six years. Once by an older Cousin, once by a Church Brother and once by a Teacher. They all caused me tremendous Pain which almost made me Impervious to Pain. At twelve years old playing Soccer in the Schoolyard, an eighteen years old Biker Boy joined the Game. He had an Injured Foot and shouldn’t be in the Game playing with twelve years old Children. I accidentally stepped on his bad Foot, causing him great Pain. He retaliated by punching me in the Solar plexus with all his might sending me to the Ground sucking in Dirt trying to breathe. When I recovered I left the Game ran Home and returned with an eighteen inch Chef’s Knife.
He escaped Death by running into his House and slamming the Door. That was my fourth Abuse, I was bent on Revenge. I knew that he had to pass my House every Night to get Home. One Night I devised the perfect Murder, being skilled with Ropes and Knotts, I strung a Rope across the narrow Lane that was my Street. Like all Bikers he rode too fast, when his Neck found the Rope, it yanked him from the shiny Harley which crashed and Burned. The Clothes Line was tied to the Fence in a slip-Knot, I yanked on it releasing it, removing it and disappearing in the Night. He survived only to wear a Neck brace for nine Months. I was as Devious as they come, I would walk up to him and like a Hippocrate asked him how he was doing, with great concern.
Today I work in a Justice System where a twelve years old Boy is awaiting Trial for Stabbing his Grandmother to Death. If I was on the Jury, I would concentrate on Extenuating Circumstances, what brought him to the Edge of Madness. Backing up to being fourteen with Repressed Anger, a sixteen years Thug was beating me senseless in the back of the Schoolyard. He was a Skilled Street Fighter who only used his Elbows, Knees and Head-But his Victims. I was just about to beg for Mercy when I found a Large Stick and unleashed six years of Repressed Anger on him. I Mannered that Boy up, he Whimpered and limped out of the Schoolyard. Feeling good about my Victory changed, when I learned that his two older Brothers eighteen and nineteen, were Gang Members with multiple Murders under thei’r Belts.
Revenge for beating thei’r Kid Brother Senseless was Inevitable. These Boys were Fearless, they thought their names were Frank and Jesse. One weekend there was a Gang Bangers Boogie in a close by Neighborhood. The two Brazen Gunmen Infiltrated The Rival Turf. They were met by a Firing Squad, the Bullets in thei’r Bodies couldn’t all be counted. A couple of Days later thei’r Caskets were placed on thei’r front Lawn for those who cared to pay their Respect. Brazen me decided to show my Disrespect by showing up and opened the closed Caskets. Looking at thei’r unrecognizable Dimpled Faces, cured my Violent Nature for the rest of my Life. Never again did I wanted to be a Badass, never again did I wanted to own a Gun.
The Lesson I learned at Fourteen was that if you lived by the Gun, the Outcomes are Inevitable. Still fourteen years old, one Day I had a front Row Seat to witness how a true Professional Discharges his Duties. One of my next Door Neighbors had developed Mental Illnesses. Nassiboo had attacked his Father with a Machete leaving him at Death’s Door. He Terrorized the Neighborhood including me, sneaking up on me With the same Machete. When the Detective came to bring him in, it was a Celebration for me. The Officer stood on the two foot Brick Wall and Announced himself to Nassiboo and told him that he was there to Arrest him. The poor Demented Man charged the Officer with the same Machete he tried to Behead his Father with.
There were five other Officers there, the Lead Detective was the only one who fired his Weapon, one Merciful shot to the Groin. The Ambulance took forever to come, Nassiboo didn’t make it. Which brings us to the Motivation for this Blog. Fifty three years later and Law Enforcement haven’t been able to train their Officers to be as Proficient as this one Detective. Several years ago in the Bronx, several Officers approached a Mentally Disturbed Black Man with a Knife in the Hallway of a Building. They all discharged thei’r Weapons like a Firing Squad, killing someone who should have been Tased. Those Occurrences happens Everyday in this Country. Marybeth Harshbarger shot and killed her Husband at fifty Yards, claiming it was an Accident. Mark once Bragged to me that she has hit Bullseye at one Thousand Yards.
Accident or Murder? You be the Judge. My Question is why don’t the Law Enforcement Agencies in this Country train their Officers to be as good as Marybeth. The Officers who Killed Breonna Taylor were at least Inept and Negligent. Once the first shot was fired the Situation should have become a Stand-off, they didn’t know if there were young Children in that Apartment. For that reason I believe that they should stand Trial for Negligent Homicide. Casting a Blind Eye and a Deaf Ear is Complicity. To you out there Protesting, the Pen is Mightier than the Gun, don’t Burn the Country Down, this is where I live. With all its Faults, America is still a Great Place to Live. Stand in the Place where you Live. Your Votes are more Powerful than all the Bullets in a Gatling Gun. God I Love this Writing Business, telling young People how not to live their Lives. It’s a darn shame I couldn’t see what my English Literature Teacher saw. Instead I chose to Party away my Learning years smoking the finest Strains grown around the World, listening to Grateful Dead, The Who and Pink Floyd talking about being Comfortable Numb ” You can take the Words right from my Mouth”.
P.S. Baby Boy is all Grown Up, that’s how come a Juvenile Delinquent like me can end up working in a Justice System, instead of being in the System. My Message to you Wannabes is that no Good Deed goes unpunished.
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