Tag: Parenting

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Knowing The Signs

Anthony Dixon

 

Knowing The Signs

First of all let me say that we all can’t be Blessed with perfect Offsprings. Some of them needs a little more attention and vigilance than others. Most People that crawl in the sack and make a Baby thinks that putting a Roof over their Heads and feeding them makes them a good Parent. In my neck of the Woods a young man worked at McDonald’s by day and by night he Randomly killed four People. The Tragedy of it all is that he had never met any of these people, they did him no wrong so there were no Axes to grind.

On November 28 2017, police arrested Howell Emanuel Donaldson III after he handed a pistol in a bag to his manager, who alerted police.

Subsequent investigation revealed that the pistol may have fired the bullets used in the killings and that Donaldson’s cell phone had been in the vicinity of the killings at the relevant times, while a search of Donaldson’s vehicle found clothing similar to that seen in surveillance footage of the killing. On that basis, police charged Donaldson with four counts of murder. Donaldson stated that the pistol belonged to him but did not state that he had committed the killings. Donaldson was indicted on the charges on December 7, 2017. He pleaded not guilty to all charges five days later. On January 23, 2018, Hillsborough State Attorney Andrew Warren announced that the state would seek the death penalty against Donaldson.

When the Cops asked his Parents to shed some light on the Case as to what went wrong. they refused to help the investigation in any way shape or form, I guess they were embarrassed of the miserable job they did protecting John Q. Public from their little Monster.

If you think that they are good Parents you also need help. Parenting is way more complex beyond the average person understanding  skills and capabilities.

We believe that it is your responsibility to learn the Job you put yourself in. When I started showing signs of being a Juvenile Delinquent, my Mother became Cop, Drug counselor and Clergy to derail the Train I was on. She once told me a story of a young Man on his way to be executed, called his Mother close to the Cell Bars, bit her Ear off, telling her that’s for not telling me that I couldn’t get away with Murder.

Killed 17 fellow Students

Every Cop is not a good Cop, every Doctor is not a good Doctor, every Lawyer is not a good Lawyer and so it is with Parenting. Good parenting isn’t something that comes naturally, it is a learned process, mostly you learn from your parents and their parents and your own failures and success. Back in ancient times it was the Job of the entire village to raise the children in African culture. If your kid screwed up a neighbor could spank the child. Doctor Spock don’t believe in spanking a child, but if my Mother didn’t stand her Ground during my Turbulent Teen, which at that point I caught her drift about Crime and punishment, I probably would have committed murder by fourteen. Some kids are that way, they are knuckleheads, so was I defiant of Laws and authority. I have told my wife many times that my Mother was a bigger man than I could ever be raising a rambunctious child as I was, luckily I put it all together and realized that if I continued on the same path into adulthood , I in all likelihood would have done Prison Time. Some of us possess the ability to rise above ourselves others don’t. The only difference for me and others who went astray is the woman I called Mom. She was not going to have any child of her’s do any prison time even if she had to maime or crippled me. Also giving up was not in her vocabulary. It appears to me that Donaldson had given his Parents signals way early before he started acting out his fantasy of popping in a neighborhood killing a few of it’s Residents and fade into the Night. Raising a monster and not knowing the signs, is failure on your behalf.

If it takes Professional help or whatever intervention to turn a twisted child around before he acts out on Society it is your Job to observe and detect abnormalities and aberrations. You can’t walk with your Head in the Clouds saying not my child, even with the smoking gun in Hand and a dead Body in front of him. Being in denial helps no one. I showed early signs of being a bad Ass and being Mom and Pop she made a full-time Job of turning my life around. I am quite sure if she thought she was fighting a losing battle she would have grudgingly made me the ward of the State’s, by putting me in Juveniles Detentions for my own and Society’s good.

Many Parents can’t and won’t come to grips with situations like that, so they just let the kid run its course until he is all grown up and his Demons with him, killing innocent people at night randomly like his name was Jack the Ripper. As I have said before parenting is The hardest job in the world but you bought the Job when you had them. You can’t just drop them like a Cat and turn them loose on Society. Murderous Tendencies goes back to Cain, People forget that Lucifer was an Arc Angel, God’s right hand Man, going bad is a defect that  Plagues Mankind since the beginning of time how we deal with our Fallacies define who we are.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

The Hurt

Anthony Dixon

Red Flags

Holding on to anger is like drinking Poison and waiting for the other person to die (Buddah)

What in the World is wrong with Angry  People, those who for whatever reason choosing to let one moment of Hurt, Madness, Hate, Disillusionment or whatever reason control their entire lives.  Has anyone ever heard of picking yourself up brushing off yourself and moving on, instead of Dwelling on the Hurt to the point where you don’t exist, only the Hurt. You do whatever it takes to ease the Hurt as in Drugs and Off the Wall behavior. Bad enough Grown People have to encounter hurt, for a Child to experience the Trauma, the Avalanche of Social Discourse ticks like a Time Bomb. My friend was molested somewhere around ten and the Hurt and shame followed him all through the rest of his life.

Remember me telling you about the behavioral problems that followed the Hurt and the Drugs to ease the Hurt. He was a well adjusted child until his misfortune, then his personality, behavior and his attitude toward life took a nosedive. His schoolwork went to Hell he became problematic got into a lot of fights, jumped off a Bridge when he was twelve or thirteen the Doctors never thought he would live, he started using Cocaine before he was fifteen. Talking about Parenting skills, no one saw the Red Flag he was waiving or his screams for help though they were silent they were Deafening. A Deaf Dumb and Blind Man would have sought help for him, his Parents were oblivious to their once normal Child off the wall behavior and thought the child was just a bad Boy as the whole community did.

My Mother always told me that there was good in everyone, well let me tell you Mom there is bad in all of us, it’s just a matter of what it takes to bring it out. The most Important thing about being hurt is you need to tell someone you need to talk about it with someone or it will eat you alive and consume you the way Hate does. My friend died at thirty nine taking his secret with him, never told his Parents or anyone else but me. Call me clairvoyant, call me Empathetic but I see right through People as if they were Transparent. I saw the Good in him that the entire Town didn’t see including his Family, all they knew was that he did bad things and that he was out of control, no one was interested in the Root Cause. The path in life that he took was laid out for him by his Molester and his Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents.

The worse of Hurt comes from someone you love and trust, as in a family member a Teacher or a Priest especially When they lay a guilt trip on you about telling. When I got molested I was fourteen my Mother died not knowing what transpired in the Home of a Teacher who had scoped me out in the Schoolyard, I was never one of his Pupils but he had slated me as his next Victim. His two younger Brothers who were also molested by him Lured me to the house. The difference between my Friend and I was that he was only a helpless Child, I on the other hand was a big fourteen years old who had overcome the Hurt of two severe beatings by two grown Men, one a family member the other a Church Brother, I was only eight.

Those two beatings brought out the bad in me. My Molester didn’t have a clue who he wanted to Rape, with a handful of my Testicles he tried to pull them from their housing. The poor fool didn’t know that only Months ago I won the fight of my Life from a sixteen years old who was a skilled street fighter, his two older Brothers were Gunmen who caught many Bullets before they caught up with me. Teachie as he was called tried to squeeze me into submission, I closed my Eyes while visualizing his face, with a Rabbit Punch I nailed him in his left Eye so hard I am certain that he eventually would have lost that Eye. The Eye immediately filled up with Blood, he released my Testicles as if they burned his hands, he screamed to his Brothers for help, the older one stood up, I grabbed a Steak Knife and decided to Butcher all three of them for putting me through this embarrassment.

The Lord have always channeled my Anger, I put the Knife down and walked out. In my case the Hurt wasn’t much only two sore Testicles but not my Manly Pride. My Mother was neither Deaf Dumb or Blind she worked with me through those difficult years, with God’s help I have lived a normal life and never spent a day in Prison and never had to kill anyone. My friend on the other hand spent many years in confinement after coming full circle with a bad Life, one Day after sitting at my Kitchen table he was on Tv for taking his Girlfriend and his Child Hostage. That was the last time I saw my friend, he died two years ago at thirty nine from all the bad Life that the Hurt had caused him to live.

He told no one but me, it took fifty years for me to openly talk about mine, don’t live in silence it will make you angry all the time and you won’t know why, Anger will eat you alive along with those around you. In conclusion I am begging all you Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents out there to be Vigilant of the Red Flags that your Kids wave and sudden behavioral change, remember that silence says a lot. Forget about your mundane life and invest some time in your juvenile delinquent offspring, oftentimes there is a message in their bad behavior, caught in time you could save Society from the Havoc that awaits.

In my neck of the woods Tampa, over the last three years Society have felt the wrought of two young men that must have been hurt at one point or another to have lashed out on Society the way they did. One at sixteen Raped a sixty one year old Woman, obviously he hated the Grandmother figure, remember Rapist don’t do it for the pleasure only for the Hurt they inflict, within one year he Raped again this time an eighteen years old College Bound, this time all his Hurt and Hatred was levied on this poor young Woman, the beating left her in a Vegetative State for the rest of her Life. His Parents were Deaf Dumb and Blind to the Red Flags, so was the Parents of the other who worked by Day at McDonald’s, at nighttime he terrorized a Neighborhood killing four of it’s Residents randomly over a one Month’s Murderous Rampage. I guess his Parents also were Deaf Dumb and Blind  to the early warning signs of his Red Flags.

P.S.   Be soft. Do not let the World make you hard. Do not let the Pain make you Hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

Related

Psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.

Because trauma differs between individuals, according to their subjective experiences, people will react to similar traumatic events differently. In other words, not all people who experience a potentially traumatic event will actually become psychologically traumatized.  However, it is possible for some people to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being exposed to a major traumatic event.This discrepancy in risk rate can be attributed to protective factors some individuals may have that enable them to cope with trauma; they are related to temperamental and environmental factors from among others. Some examples are mild exposure to stress early in life.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Grinding Axes

Anthony Dixon

Grinding Axes

Have you ever witnessed an extraordinary act of kindness  such as someone behind you in the checkout line offered to pay for your few items. Mind boggling to the skeptics trying to figure the motivation. There is nothing to figure some people believe that you do a good deed and you receive what you have sown. Some people their positive mental attitude is just that infectious, those are my kind of people no down bringers no Haters just people trying to get along with the rest of the World and not blaming it for their shortcomings. Some people they go to sleep angry and awake the same way, not even knowing why. My Mother was one that was great for paraphrasing, her favorite” an Ax to Grind” in this World there are too many Axes to Grind, Color, Socioeconomic, Religion and Gender to name a few.

It seems that once Cain’s hands were stained with Blood Mankind was never able to wash them clean and once our Minds contaminated with Hate that’s how it remains for Generations. Yet the Bible teaches to forgive and forget, Psychologists tells us in order to heal one should forget the hurt, let go and move on with your life. The bad part is those who need psychological help don’t seek it. All I know is if there were something eating at me for years and is pushing me over the edge to act on it, first I would seek help, if the Ax that I was grinding was consuming my every thought, pushing me to the edge Of destruction, I would check myself in voluntarily, why should I take innocent people with me. If there is a Virus within you kill it.

Grinding an Ax for years then acting out by killing a bunch of innocent people is the Cowardly thing to do, the brave thing is to recognize  what you have allowed yourself to become and eradicate the problem. I know that I am sounding Brutally frank  but the Saga never ends. September 2001 a Bunch of Fanatical Haters flew Planes into Buildings that my Coworkers were in, nine hundred of them perished. You think that we would take Head to how far Hate can push you and knowing that all those Fanatical Haters aren’t Dead, just laying low to strike again while we wallow in our own pettiness. Eleven years later yet another act of Terrorism, this time homegrown, make no mistake perpetrating hateful acts of crime on Society is nothing short of Terrorism.

The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting occurred on December 14, 2012, in Newtown, Connecticut when 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children between six and seven years old, as well as six adult staff members. Before going to the school, he shot and killed his mother at their Newtown home. This young man allowed the hate within to consume him, then he unleashed it on helpless innocent children. That’s what the hate virus do it makes you blame everyone except the one who owns the problem. Four years later the Pulse shootings,On June 12, 2016, Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old security guard, killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in a terrorist attack inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando Florida.

Orlando Police Department officers shot and killed him after a three-hour standoff, yet another Hater who hated Gays and anyone who doesn’t share his Faith.On February 14, 2018, a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing seventeen students and staff members and injuring seventeen others. Witnesses identified nineteen-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz as the assailant, and he was arrested in Coral Springs by the Broward County Sheriff’s Office shortly after he escaped the scene; Cruz had purchased food at Walmart and McDonald’s restaurants after leaving the scene of the shooting. I guess he felt good about what he had just accomplished with no remorse, to the point where he could eat with lack of conscience.

Cruz confessed to being the perpetrator, and he was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder and 17 counts of attempted murder. Police and prosecutors have not yet offered a motive and are investigating “a pattern of disciplinary issues and unnerving behavior”.  And so we have another case of the hate virus consuming its incubator. Being Molested at fourteen didn’t make me hate Gays to Massacre them being a victim of Police brutality didn’t make me hate all Cops, neither incidents left me an Ax to Grind.  I must be a Genius to have learned at an early age that there is good and bad in all walks of Life, and that Life wasn’t fair. While I see people around me Grinding Axes that were around before Jesus Christ, Nomads against Jews against Christians against Catholics against Protestants where does it ends. Get over it we will not all look alike, talk alike think alike or Worship alike, if you killed all of us who didn’t fit in your Box, who would there be to feed your little  Ego that you are better than a Cockroach with a Gun. Just talking about the Subject puts a damper on my good vibes and values remember you can’t teach values to your kids they learn from how you live your lives. If you grind Axes in front of your Kids don’t be surprised when they grow up with your sharpened Axes, whacking at Society.

Parenting And Relationships

It’s A Challenge

Anthony Dixon

It’s A Challenge



To be a good Parent May be The Challenge of your Life. The Bible says go forth and multiply, some Half Wit Philosopher said your Life is not fulfilled until you have Children.  Not disputing the Bible, but I match with the latter. Having and raising Children isn’t all that it’s cropped up to be. First of all, once they come on the screen, your Life is changed. You can’t go out Drinking and hanging with the Boys every Weekend coming Home in the Am looking through three Eyes, and leaving  the little Woman alone to deal with the miseries, they throw at her, if you could only see yourself through her eyes . No you have to be there to get your share of the loaded Diapers , the middle of the night wailing, then they grow to be little People with big attitudes. Woke up one day and find that your Life has changed, or should, you can’t use the vulgarity you are used to spitting. When you think that they are not listening, one day they hit you with something like, ” uncle Tony you’re F*c***g kidding me are you. Four years old with the mouth of yourself. It’s a life changing experience.



I would rather own a Racehorse, sometimes they do win and pay for their upkeep.  You can invest a Bushel in a child’s upkeep, upbringing and Education, and they turn out to be Bums, use Drugs and hanging with the Underbellies of Society. So where did you go wrong,  you didn’t, they did, it’s a Crap Shoot. Sometimes you raise Thoroughbreds and other times strangers. I have met Educated adults who refused to put it to good use, move out and make their own way. Before they  get to that point they make your Life absolutely miserable, by acting like they are the Parents. Sometimes they are just Adolescents with big attitudes. By the time they turn Teenagers, they are ready to give you a good ass whipping.


You try to pass on to them the benefits of all you have learned about Life, and they think that you are Stupid, for trying to save them from the disaster of themselves . I am not just talking off the top of my Head. When I was fourteen I was a big Pot Head who drank colt 45. Thank God I kept my intemperance for the Weekend,  and not School hours, also thank God for a strong willed person I called Mom. As I said before the Challenge is Great. So the next time you think about making Babies, ask yourself, am I up to the aftermath.

Related Blog

Stand Up Dad

Making Babies and running off is an awful trait associated with Men, just about animalistic if you ask me. Bad enough when Men do it, but when a Woman meets a Man and run off leaving two young Daughters, that is despicable,I don’t care how good looking or Rich he is, I don’t even care if your marriage is horrendous. Your first priority is your Children. No matter what the circumstances are, your new Man don’t want Kids or your Husband is undeserving of you, first and foremost you are a Mother. Mothers are a special Breed, their propensity to Love care and nurture is unyielding. My Mother was incredible at the art of Motherhood, raising two Boys by herself, she was Mother and Father, a good provider, Teacher and Mentor. Struggling with two Boys, she once met a Man who professed his love for her, a Doctor by profession. He wanted to marry her, with one catch, he wanted her to put her sixteen and nineteen years old out of the House. I guess he feared that if he turned out to be Mr Hyde we would beat him silly, that request enraged her, she sent him packing. Now that’s A good Mother.



Philip was married for twelve years, came home one day and his wife was gone, leaving two young Daughters behind, to raise by himself. Being a stand up Dad, he embraced the challenge boldly. Children can be heartless people, the way they challenge disobey and disrespect us when we are trying our best. My only satisfaction I get from them being Brats, is knowing that their day will come when their own Kids will do the same to them.Philip’s Kids were brutal, they put him through the grinder with their attitude. They acted as if he was the one who ran their Mother off, when it was her own hormones that made her run off leaving them behind. He did his best as Mr Mom, putting his own life on hold for a long time. Making sure that he brought the right Woman home, to fill the void left by the self centered one who ran off abandoning her Family. One day he met a Librarian and decided to marry her, it is never a good idea to raise Girls alone. Girls need the female influence of a Mother, even just for rounding out. Needless to say the Girls did not welcome her with open arms. They were Vociferous and openly challenging and disrespectful. Disapproval was high, they did not care if she was Queen Elizabeth. She was not theIr no good Mother who they were too blind to disown and reciprocatively abandoned. The years progressed with little tranquility, one day through the act of God or goodwill by the new Mom,they came around and acknowledged that she is more deserving of their respect love and appreciation, than the one who gave them Birth. I guess the Lord do work in mysterious ways.