Tag: Life

Life

Tragic Encounters

Anthony Dixon

Blogging the Book

Tragic Encounters

Why is it that since the beginning of time people have always gravitated to bad instead of good. It goes all the way back to when the World was in its first Days, Adam and Eve, Cain and Able they set a trend that never will be broken. I would be a liar if I told you that I was not intrigued for a long period in my Life to go left, by seventeen I had seen enough of what the world can do, so I thought. I took a right turn and stayed the Course the rest of my Life. Why is it that so many People aren’t able to use their God given ability to exercise reason, make the right choices and do what’s right. I am no Genius but I posses the ability to use Logic and weigh things, to use  rationality as we all do but don’t, and so from my Teenage life I have exercised Rationality, which have kept me from committing Murder and staying out of Prison. In Venezuela there are Notorious Murderers only twelve years old. In the U.S. during the height of the Drug Wars twelve and thirteen years old were used as Hitmen.

The gift of using rationality started at fourteen when two Brothers who were friends of mine, both molested by their older Brother a Teacher invited me to Dinner, upon arrival I entered the House and headed straight to the Dining Room, the table was set, curiosly there were only the Boys and their Brother seated at the Table, no sign of any Parents. I was directed where to sit in the Lamb’s chair to the right of Teachie as the older Brother was called. Small talk developed into sex talks, I was now uncomfortable, not seeing any food on the table and not enjoying the conversation I stood up to leave. With one fell swoon Teachie pounced on me, next thing I know he had a hand full of my Genitals, the more I resisted the tighter the grip became just about in tears. By now the Dinner invitation was all clear, I was the main course to become the stuffed Pig and be Porked. Teachie’s grip of my Genitals were like a pair of Pliers, the two Brothers sat at the Table cowering visibly the sign of molested children, they did nothing or said nothing in my defense. Teachie was in for a crude awakening not knowing that I was a fierce street fighter that was capable of killing at fourteen. Just Days earlier I had beaten a Neighborhood Bully into a Pulp with a large Stick and could have killed him if I had chosen to, then found out that his two older Brothers were Gunmen who had killed before.

Teachie was having fun taunting me he thought he had me, I went into a Shaolin meditation closed my eyes while looking through my mind’s eye as I pinpointed his face. With a Fist closed tightly and three knuckles purtuding, I nailed him in his right eye with everything I had, knowing that I had only one shot and if I blew it my Ass would be his. His eye immediately filled up with Blood, he released his grip and covered his eye. Readying myself for a counter move on his part I picked up the large Steak knife from my place setting at the Table. He was in such pain he didn’t make a move forward or he would have been dead,  I was filled with rage.

The little Minion that was imprisoned in me jumped out stood on my shoulder and told me to Kill all three of them for putting me through such an ordeal. It’s a shame the way some people would ruin other people’s lives just to satisfy their uncontrollable lust. He had ruined his own Brothers lives and thought he could rape every Boy in the Neighborhood. All of this happened across the street from a Police Precinct, the Cops would have heard the screaming, I put down the Knife and walked out, passed the Precinct did not go in and make a report. Those were the good old days when the Victim bore the shame and guilt even if a Priest was the Molester. As far as I’m concerned Molesters are nothing but Dogs in Heat. It was that early in Life that I progressed into the World of Rationality and stayed there for the rest of my Life. If I had Killed Teachie and his Brothers I would not be here today to tell you about all the ill fated people I have known that didn’t use Rationality and so paid the price…. Continue reading on Blogging the Book Page.

Life

The Rut

Anthony Dixon

 

The Rut

Day to Day routine can quickly become a Rut,  monotony dims the Fire of Life. When you are in a rut and the last week or month is a carbon copy of the last, you need to do something different, especially if you are not satisfied with the way your life is going. Great Moments are all that’s left to you when you are sitting in a Nursing Home waiting to die, instead of living out your Life with a Bang as I am doing semi retired living in Tampa Florida. I am still working but every weekend you can find me on the Gulf of Mexico. That is why I recommend that you make a lot of quality time for yourself. Taking Vacations is rewarding yourself for dealing with the unending stress that Life throws at you, the Job, the Family and Life in general. Weekend getaways are a great source of recharging your Sanity so you can return Monday to deal with your Idiot Boss and his Flunkies. When stress is part of your Rut you are playing with Dynamite. People who do things the same way all the time looking for different results are looking through rose colored glasses. It’s not going to happen, if you are in a job that all your efforts go unnoticed and unrewarded while others less deserving moves forward. You are in a Rut.

If you are there for twenty years and your efforts keep moving the company forward all you can expect is Crumbs. You need to break the cycle, the World is full of corruption, why would the workplace be different. When I worked for Solomon Brothers, It was public knowledge that John Gutfreund made 12 million in salaries and another twelve in Bonus. My first year bonus in a low level Position was 8 thousand dollars and John knew who I was and always spoke. This was not a union Job but dedication and the greater good of the Company took priority, we all shared the spoils of profit. Not so for the majority of other Companies that I have worked for, one of them made 100 million in profit one year, we were told that there would be no Bonuses,  the spoils were divvy at the top. Companies like that as long as you are employed you should always be looking to jump Ship. When you are in a rut with Companies like that for twenty five years  they are always  looking to replace you with fresh blood to usurp them the same way that they did you.

People like that aren’t looking out for your best interest, that is your Job. I am not asking for a share of the company or a percentage of the profit, just to be recognized and rewarded accordingly. Sometimes the same situation exist at home, you are neglected, undermined and taken for granted. Great moments and great sex is a distance occurrence, your Dog gets more attention than you do. Again you are in a rut, you can’t leave but you can’t stay, I am not a marriage counselor, I can’t tell you what to do but a blind man can tell you that something is wrong. In an earlier Blog titled Stand up Dad Phil raised his two daughters after their mother ran out of their lives with another man, abandoning the family. He went above and beyond in the Job of raising two Girls, he put them through College living in a Condo he bought so they didn’t have to live in a Dorm.

Those girls made his Life a living Hell while growing up, treated him as if he was the one who abandoned them. In gratitude, when they graduated they moved back Home to finish him off with Stress. They disrespected his new Wife with confrontation daily, with one goal in mind, to split them up. They could not bare to see the Will split three ways and the Mansion going to the Wife. I told Phil many times that he should put them out on the Street, he never listened, all that stress built to the point where he could not function in his Job, he was a hair from mumbling and talking to himself, it got to the point where his home life caused him his job. I  guess his rut succumbed him. All that I am saying is that there comes a point in every life when change must come, especially when your sanity takes a beating. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Killer Mom

Anthony Dixon

Killer Mom

I was no more than seventeen, Man about Town or so I thought, until I witnessed one of the most brutal acts of child abuse perpetrated on a kid by his own Mother. One Summer’s afternoon I pulled up to Cindy’s House to pick up her Sister for a Date, she informed me that Joy went to the Store and would return shortly. She invited me in and to make myself at home, Sin as she was called unbeknownst to me for more than just a nickname. She was a Horrible person  a Child abuser and a loose woman with two children. Wasn’t more than five minutes that I sat in the living Room when she returned with two Beers and snuggled up to me so close air could not pass between us.

It appears that Joy her younger Sister was sent on a wild Goose chase and I was now Cindy’s Date. This girl was fast, now I know why she was twenty four with two children six and seven, now she was putting the moves on me looking for her third one. What did I have to complain about, any seventeen year old would be happy to go tell his friends that he was Seduced by a twenty four years old Woman. It was at that early age that I became familiar with bad parenting. Where I come from Moms and Dads were there for your protection. The kids were playing on the floor she was hot with the foreplay and ordered them to go play in their Room. The Girl left the Room as told the Boy was reluctant he stayed put, she called the Girl back into the Room and ordered her to discipline the Boy for not complying.

Never before have I ever seen a Parent using one sibling to discipline another and fifty years later never heard of such a practice.  The Children were standout Karate Students the Girl was one year older and a Brown Belt. Like a Ringmaster at a Dogfight she gave the command to fight, it still hadn’t occurred to me that this was the real deal and this was not the first time, I thought they were only putting on an exhibition for my entertainment. After the first two blows landed to the Boy’s Head I knew that no Karate Instructor in his right Mind would teach kids to fight like that, it was her doings. This was an Evil person destroying two kids.

The Boy put up a valiant effort but was no match for his Sister, now I was embarrassed for All and had to leave. I have regretted being a Dumb seventeen year old who didn’t go down to the corner and returned with a Cop, but that’s what happens when you are seventeen and think you know it  all. That was the case for her also, to be knocked up twice by eighteen and had  been A Bad Parent every step of the way. I will forever be talking about kids becoming Parents, snubbing their own life with Responsibility beyond their capabilities. Being a good Parent is a selfless Act.

How do I know? My Brother was a Dad at seventeen but not a Parent. Life is strange it gives you all the clues as early as you recognize them. Maturity should come early from the School of Life. No! It sheds a group of Mindless people who were never told that Life is not Perfect and never will be. They suffer setbacks and they take it out on the Kids, they split up early and it’s you are just like your Father. It doesn’t stop there sometimes the kid gets what the father would have gotten if he was close by. One month ago a celebrity type jumped to her death in NY holding her seven year hand, because she couldn’t deal with the stress of a messy divorce.We try to give our kids all they need to survive and grow into Adulthood yet not a word about them being parents themselves. Worst of all you weren’t up to the Job yourself. What they say Monkey see Monkey do.

Cindy was a bad Mom but not the worst,and then there are killer Moms and Dads. In my earlier Blog Filicide I laid it out how young frustrated parents kill their infant children for simple things like crying constantly or acting up or to exact revenge on the other parent.  As I have said over and again any Idiot can crawl in the Sack and make a Baby not everyone is up to the Task of Parenting.

Remembering me telling you that being a Parent is a selfless act . I was a late pregnancy everyone told her it was dangerous and she should abort me, despite the fact that she could lose her life she chose to give me life. That is why I simply cannot understand a Parent taking their own kids life. I have been living in the Tampa area for four years and there have been a minimum of six Filicide to date. Sunday September 2nd spawned yet another Baby Killer, after a bitter split and months of abuse to her two years old son Charisse Stinson reported to the Cops that her two years old son Jordan was Kidnapped.

For three Days everyone in my old Neighborhood of Largo Florida is looking for this child. The case is only a week old so I have to mince my words. It is rumored that she had struck the child and he hit his head which produced Seizures. Knowing she had many questions to answer at the Hospital she kept the child overnight, the next day she was seen putting out garbage, the same day the child is reported missing. On Tuesday the child’s Body is found in a wooded area of my old Neighborhood. She is promptly arrested and charged with his Murder. The Girl is twenty and is clueless as to the responsibilities of Parenting what do you expect.

Jordan Belliveau, the 2-year-old toddler who went missing for more than two days, was found dead late Tuesday.

His 21-year-old mother, Charisse Stinson, now faces a charge of first-degree murder in the death of her child.

“As you can imagine, this is an extremely difficult and emotional time for all of us,” said a shaken Largo police Chief Jeffrey Undestad at a night news conference that night.

 

 

Largo police revealed no other details about the case, including the cause of Jordan’s death and what evidence or statements may implicate the mother, who struggled to care for her child amidst a chaotic relationship with the father.

 

 

This is a Published Article on the Subject of Filicide.

 

A parent killing a child happens more often than we think

(CNN) It’s the most unfathomable of crimes: a parent killing their own child. It grabs headlines when it happens — like this week in Georgia, where a mom is accused of stabbing four of her children to death. The reality is, filicides happen with depressing regularity in the US. And mothers are almost as likely to be the killers as fathers.

Of course we’re shocked whenever we hear about a parent taking the life of their own children. Think Andrea Yates or Susan Smith. But what’s even more shocking (and sad) is that this type of crime happens a lot. A study in the journal Forensic Science International looked at three decades worth of filicide cases (between 1976 and 2007) and found they occurred about 500 times a year in the US.

Almost 72% of those killed by their own parents were 6 years old or younger.

And one-third of the victims were just babies under 1 year of age.

But more than 13% of the victims were adults, specifically people in ages running from 18 to 40 years old. So the threat of filicide doesn’t go away when people get old enough to move out on their own.

More than 40% of the killers in these crimes were mothers, with fathers making up about 57% of those who killed their own offspring.

Cheryl Meyer, co-author of several books on the subject, said it’s probable that a mother kills a child somewhere in the US once every three days.

Only 10% of the victims were killed by their stepparents. That means 90% of the victims were the biological sons or daughters of the killer. And sons (52%) were more likely to be killed than daughters (38%).

Parents used what the study called “personal weapons” to beat, choke or drown victims in the majority of cases involving underage kids.

If the victims were adults, parents used guns in 72% of such killings.

There are several reasons why

Dr. Timothy Mariano, the study’s lead author, offered up three theories: the parents are often mentally ill, they usually have higher levels of testosterone and the offspring that they kill may be considered unwanted.

Forensic psychiatrist Phillip J. Resnick, pioneer in the study of filicide research, identified five major reasons:

Altruism: The parent kills the child because he or she may perceive it to be in the child’s best interest. It may be reality-based (e.g., the child suffers from a terminal illness) or precede the suicide of the parent, as the parent feels it would be unfair to leave the child behind to face the cruel world.

Acute psychosis: The parent kills the child based on ideas that are inconsistent with reality. For example, the parent believes the child has been possessed by the devil.

Unwanted child: The parent kills the child that he or she regards as a hindrance.

Accidental: The child’s death is an unintentional outcome of parental physical abuse.

Spousal revenge: The parent kills the child in an effort to exact revenge on the other parent.

 

 

 

 

 

Life, Parenting And Relationships

A Train called Me

Anthony Dixon

A Train called Me

I couldn’t have been more than fifteen when I complained to Mom about my little Gig stocking shelves at the Supermarket. Her Philosophical answer, to get by in this World you have to kiss Ass until you can kick em. Moral, as long as you are dependent you suck it up until you can do better. Man were those words ever riveted in my Brain. It was those words that kept me grounded and in check through my horrendous teenage, thinking at fourteen that I was my own Man. My attitude was rambunctious believing that I could do whatever I wanted to do. Still not able to feed and clothe myself or put a Roof over my head. Mother was not a difficult person, but her rules were to be obeyed.  Juvenile Delinquents are people who outright refuses to do what they are told thinking that they can skirt the Law. When my Kids were twelve and thirteen there was a Sign in my Basement Den, “now that you know everything, you can move out and pay your own way”. Now a Sign like that would have me kissing Ass.

At fifteen I knew the importance of a Job and not to grow up Illiterate. But I still couldn’t afford to move out. So that’s why  when she found my Ounce of Marijuana I shut my mouth and acted Repentantly. Even though It wasn’t long after that at sixteen, going to a Party she told me to be in the House by 12. While she was talking I could hear the little Demons in my Head “she is not talking to me” I’m coming home when I please, that is Delinquent thinking. Long after twelve I came stumbling home almost 6am Shit faced and all, what was I thinking that I could Rule a strong Willed Woman. She lay- waited me behind the Door with a Broom Handle that dropped me to my knees. Another JD would have gotten up and be conforontational, I took it like a man. Being a single Woman raising a child like me she had no choice but to be tough, otherwise I would have end up ruling her.

Once again more Ass to kiss, I disobeyed her wishes while I was living under her Roof,  they were to be respected, or move out, again I choose to stay and try to co-exist while not paying Rent. This is where a lot of kids develop misconceptions, thinking that their parents are obligated to put up with whatever crap they dish out on their parents. I knew that my Mother was not obligated, she had remedies like putting me in a Juvenile Detention Center. Instead she chose to work with me. When you get to the point where your parents can’t tell you anything, it’s time to move out.  My Mother and I got along famously  both strong Willed and neither afraid to match Wits. She would Bond with me to control my mindset of being bad, drowned me with Honey so she  could hardcore Reason with me. Then she would flip like a light switch with the ultimatums. She would look me in the eyes and told me at seventeen, if you leave this House, Don’t come back,  I was going to a meeting of the Radical Extremist Panther Party. How she knew what I was up to her name must have been Holmes. A good Parent have to be a Detective to know what their kids are up to.That’s a Great Mother. She would crawl in a Skark’s Belly to save her son, on the other hand she would put me on the Streets to see the Evil of my ways. Tough Love is using your wisdom and experience to break someone.

I was on a Runaway Train and she made it her Job to stop the Train called me. By eighteen Mother didn’t have to worry about who I was hanging with, where I was four A.m. in the morning or who the person I was becoming. Her Job was done, her values were a part of me, being responsible for my actions was my nemesis and doing Prison time was my Phobia. On the Road called Life people make wrong turns everyday, Kids aren’t exempt from losing their way. One of the hardest part of Parenting is not giving up on a child who have gone astray. At fourteen I didn’t need any help being a Deviant yet my best friend was a twelve year old Boy who attended Catholic School. a Deviant in his own rights.

He had access to more Marijuana than a Farmer, his older brother sold it, after School we would return to the Basketball Court in the School Yard and smoke the most potent strains till it was dark, and so were we. Gravitating to Street life have nothing to do with who the Parents are, his Parents were upward mobile Professionals and my Mother was a hard working Christian Woman. Without God’s hands working through my Mother the Streets would have won my Soul, chewed me up and spat me out in a New York State Prison. Today I work as a Contract Employee in a County Justice System, with a Criminal Record I could not have gotten the Job.

This is where my Life comes full Circle seeing all the Babies coming to Court, some barely twelve, some being Remanded and not going back Home. In an earlier Blog I stated that Teenagers know everything except projecting five years down the Road. Neil Young puts it Best ” old Man take a look at my Life I’m a lot like you were. Tom Petty’s Soul Asylum should be a Beacon for Wayward Teens like I was. I think about Pac all the time and wonder how his Life would have turned out with a Mother like mine.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Mother’s Little Helper

Anthony Dixon



Josie was born Gifted,  she possessed great Love understanding and Empathy, whenever others around her was sad so was she, when they hurt so did she. Her childhood in rural Pennsylvania was filled with bliss, far away from Urban life, nestled in luscious nature was all she needed to grow and flourish. And so did she transcending into the most tranquil of adolescents. Her Parents were overwhelmed with her matured mentality, her attitude of total bliss with her existence. This Child’s Godliness behooved the local Ministry. Her Congeniality with all God’s creatures Humans and Animals alike, mystified even the Fawns that came looking for her at the break of Dawn, while she tended her Vegetables. In School everyone wanted to be close to her, in her presence there was always serenity and control.

 

 


 

At twelve years old the maturity she exhibited was uncommon for her counterparts. At Home she emulated her Mother as a Homemaker, never to be told to do chores. Work ethics beyond a seasoned team player, always filled in whenever needed. When  mother was sick she was the Woman of the House. At twelve years old she cooked cleaned and sewed like a pro. All this talent from being a Mother’s Helper that was a quick learner. Joan her Mom was from the old School, she believed that Kids should not be babied, but be given the tools they need to live as early as possible. Good hygiene, Homemaking and People skills were a must. So it’s no wonder that at age twelve Josie was now prepared to take over the job of running the Household with Mom’s failing Health. As Joan’ s health progressively deteriorated, she was filled with pride and sorrows. Proud of her Daughter’s maturity, sad to know that she was leaving this Beautiful Angel to finish the job of raising herself, and keeping her Dad from giving up on Life.

 



Joan’s Passing left a huge void in everyone’s life, most of all her Husband, to him the blow was devastating. He progressively withdrew from  Life, he barely maintained his Job with the strength and encouragement from Josie. She was the Pillar of his sanity, a constant reminder of her Mother, which made things easy and hard. Her devotion to mentally nourish Dad back to Life was an unbecoming talent of anyone child or adult. When her Father locked himself in his room of depression, she would bring him out with gentle levity, like excuse me sir have you seen my Dad. He immediately knew what she was saying and responded with gratitude and Love. Without this kid’s tenacity to give and to Love he would not have been able to overcome the loss. With Josie around he had no need to run for the shelter of Mother’s Little Helper.