Category: Motivation

America, Life, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships, Religion

That’s Me In The Corner

Anthony Dixon

 

 

That’s Me in The Corner

In the year Nineteen Seventy Crosby Stills  Nash and Young Released a Song called Southern Man. It was a call for Social Changes in America. A couple of Verses went, ” Southern Man better dig your Head, Don’t forget what the good Book said. I seen your Black Man coming round, swear by God I’m gonna cut him down. Not long after the Allman Brothers released Down to the Whipping Post. Jefferson Airplane Hollered about Wooden Ships. These were American Kids using Music to Plea to the Blackheartedness of America’s unwillingness to do the right thing. Release the Negro from under your Thumb.

Just around the same time the Diehard Rebel Band came up with Sweet Home Alabama. I guess they were Proud of the way Governor Lester Maddox and the National Guard Swarm down on  Martin Luther King on the Selma Bridge and beat him down, If I am not mistaken they killed a few peaceful Marchers singing Religious songs. Walking hand in hand with Hippies and embracing Dr King’s Ideologies have cured me of the Hate Virus. The only time I encounter the Emotions of Hate is when people drag me down to thei’r level and forces me to be Brutally Frank. ” Never wrestle with Ignorant People, they will only drag you down to thei’r level and beat you with Experience”. When that happens you let the Minion out of the Bottle, and it doesn’t want to go back in.

I don’t remember the name of the Group that asked the Question ” How long has this been going on”. As you can see this is beginning to look like something Institutionalized and is as natural as American Pie and Baseball. From Nineteen Seventy- Two  Thousand Twenty I am looking into the Soul of America and all I see is the Vehement stand it takes on Hate . will someone work with me here and fill in the end Date. 1970 I was sixteen I am now sixty seven ” yes that’s me in the Corner, yes I am losing my Religion, and I hate you for undoing my Mother’s hard work to save my Soul. She told me that we were all God’s Children, and I Believed her. Now you have me Questioning her Truthfulness.

Why should I not feel this way waiting fifty three years for something that is never going to happen in my Lifetime, Equality and Justice, they are both words of Propaganda with no Constitutional meaning or Value. Just around the same Time America placed Sanctions on P.W. Bota’s South Africa for the Mailinging  its Black Citizens. What Hypocrisy, ” you shouldn’t throw Stones”. When they pilled Stones on Jesus there were Christians among the Romans, it was a Christian who gave him to the Romans. Today the Evangelical Community supports far Right, does that mean that they support Systemic Racism. Do you really want to know what unhinged the Bitch? Glad you asked, a Black District Attorney protecting Cops who forget that they are Peace Officers and not Storm Troopers involved in a cover-up.

Nappyhead Rappers with a couple of Bucks who think that Fame brings Intelligence, overstepping their Capacities. Thinking that they are Spokesmen. Harriet Tubman spoke about them, ” I freed a Thousand Slaves, I could have freed a Thousand more if only they knew they were Slaves” This is not me, my Mother a Devout Christian told me that I should Kill my Enemies with Kindness, but my Cup Runeth Over with all this Hate that will never go away and Black Lives Matter Rhetoric. Tupac said that it was you doing all the Killing ( Black on Black) his Death gave Creditability to his Words. Now you want me to March with people who are going to throw the first Stones that are going to be met by Bullets, think again. I’ll tell you what Matters, the way Black People treat each other.

Nineteen Seventy Three, Here I am working in the Mailroom of an American Conglomerate, my Immediate Supervisor, Black like me with an Irish Last Name, telling me that I didn’t belong there, that I belonged on the Street with my Hoodlum Brothers. You need to Free your Mind before you can move forward. The way White People Hate Black People, the way Jews Arabs Muslims and Christians Hate each other. That’s what Matters. Give me a Break you are all Sick with The Hate Virus, I have strong Antibodies to you all. I have had Friends in every Race, we judge each Other on individual Merits, not from what Society says. Remember the Words all God’s Children, you Idiots need to get over yourselves and remember what the Good Book Says. ” Do onto Others as you would have them do to you”. I will end this Tirade with a message of Love.

Two Thousand and Nine I took a Job in a Nursing Home. The Facility had one Hundred and twenty three Beds, one belonged to a Black Resident, the Staff one Hundred percent White. Many of the Jobs that I have had in my work Life I was the first, including this one. In just about all of them I was the Torchbearer for Excellence. Mother told me, ” Whatever job you do, be the Best, go the extra Mile. They may never accept you but they will Respect you for the Job you do. From Day One working in this Nursing Home I knew that this was the Challenge of a Lifetime. I embraced the Challenge boldly. I took the Residents on one by one, many had never had any interaction with a Black Person before.

Now I had the Opportunity to put Mother’s teaching to the test. Knowing that many were in thei’r last Days I showered them all with Love, Kindness and Respect. I became their Watchdog, scoping out Abuse and Neglect. That gave the Staff another reason to Hate me other being Black. Coworkers told me that they called me Nigger behind my Back, never in my Face fearing that I would go Postal. I grew Extremely Tight with some of the Residents. Liz was an Irish Woman in her eighties, who had never had any interaction with a Black Person. We Adopted each other, the love we had for each other made my Mother Jealous, asking me how many Mothers do I have. Nell was a Polish Woman, I think that she loved me Best, I called her Chachi, she called me Chachi ( Grandmother- Grandfather) she told me that I was too wise for my age. When I told the Residents that I was Moving to Florida I took years from thei’r Lives with sadness. It was Jubilation for the Staff. The Oddest thing that ever happened to me in my Life, One Month after Leaving Pennsylvania, now living in Florida. One Day I received a Manila Envelope in the Mail, in it was a Plaque, On it were the Words Employee of the Month along with a Check. I was Blown away, Mom was right, they may never accept you, but they will Respect you for the Job you do. “This one goes out to the ones I love, this one goes out to the ones I left behind”- R.E.M. Parting Words belongs to Tom Petty ” Don’t want to Live like a Refugee”

P.S. The Lord moves in Mysterious ways.

America, Life, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships

Three Seeds

Anthony Dixon

 

 

 

Three Seeds

When I was young my Mother told me that she feared that one Day someone would kidnap me. The reason for her Fear she Explained, was that I was the most Loving and trusting Child she had ever seen. She continued saying that I gravitated to People, telling me how I would jump in the Arms of total Strangers. Over the years growing up it has puzzled People how thei’r Children Gravitated to me. I could pick up a Wailing Child, hold them for a short while, speak a few comforting words and they would stop crying. In my High School Drama class I had to give up my part playing George in Our Town. I could never make it through the end of the Play without crying.

My Teacher explained to me that the reason for that was that I possessed what is known as Empathy. The same way a Child can be Born with Prodigious Skills one can be Born with Empathy and a Tremendous capacity to Love. What happens to steal that capacity along the way growing up is nothing short of Criminal. When a child is Born their Minds, Soul, Temperaments and their entire Being is a Blank sheet of white Paper. What is written on it by thei’r Parents, thei’r Environment and others they encounter in life, Dictates how they live the rest of their Lives. In one of my earlier Blogs Titled The Palm Tree, I explained how I picked up four Palm Seeds and planted them. Three Seeds were planted outside in the harsh Florida Tropical Environment.

As soon as they Budd from Seedlings they all Died. The fourth Seed was planted on my enclosed Porch, in a Rainforest setting. After four years of living and flourishing in the proper Environment. The Roots are strong and if I decided to transfer it outside, one Day one Hundred years from Now it will provide Shelter for the Seeds it Sheads. If Children are exposed to Harsh Toxic Environment, they struggle with Relationships and Wither in Society and life in general, without strong Convictions. Remember that Wealth and Success is not only Measured in Financial Gains. Take a look at O.J. Aaron Hernandez, Bill Cosby and Mike Epstein. ” Teach your Children well and know they Love you”.

I am forever invoking the Story of a young Man awaiting Execution. Called his Mother to come close to his Cell, so he could whisper in her Ear, he bit it off rebuking her, that’s for not telling me that I couldn’t get away with Murder. The Seeds you Plant can grow into a Healthy Palm Tree or a Thorny Bush. I could end this Blog right here but I know that People like a Panoramic view of everything, so I will continue. Nineteen Seventy Seven I had the Educational Experience to have met a Man, whose Worth at that Time was five Hundred Million, We spoke for over an Hour. He said that Money could either be a Blessing or a Curse, what you do with it is what’s important. He continued saying that Money is only a Tool to do good things.

During the Conversation he explained to me that when his two Sons Graduated College. He did not give them Offices next to him on the twenty sixth floor of his Conglomerate. He instead gave them jobs in the lowest level of one of his Entities, a Road Construction Company. Laying Asphalt in one Hundred and thirteen Degrees Weather in Texas. I asked him why so Crude, he Explained that they would eventually Inherit his Dynasty. However he didn’t want them to Develop Rock Star Mentality and that he wanted to teach them Humility and the Value of a hard earned Dollar. None of them turned out like Jared Kushner, an Airhead, expressing Views he knows nothing about, ” Success” having everything handed to him.

That Encounter Thought me not to sell my Soul for Money, and to be careful of what I asked for.  That same year I returned to New York, Organized Crime offered me a job as a Courier, Delivering Kilos. The starting Salary was five Thousand Dollars Weekly, with Potential to grow in the Organization. My Upbringing was the only thing that kept me from Accepting the Offer. When I Bought my first Home, I told my Wife that if I had taken the Offer, from then to now the two Tier House would be packed with nothing but Money, not being able to put it in a Bank. With my Inguinity, today I would be a Kingpin and my Soul would have belonged to Satan. Today I credit my Success to my Mother, she told me that if you walk in Filth you certainly will Stink.

 

She also told me that the Decisions I made when I am young, I would have to live with them for the rest of my Life. I have been Fortunate to have had Great Teachers in my Life. In High School one of them told me that I should never stop Learning, when you stop, your Brain start to Die. I draw Parallel to what Archie would call Michael ” Meathead”, nothing Grows in a Comfort Zone. Further drawing Parallel, being Complacent with Society thinking what can one Person do, being silent Deaf and Blind, amounts to Acceptance and Approval. I am still the same trusting Person, only Age have made me Cynical as to whether everyone can be trusted to look out for my Best Interests. Finally working through Difficult Times should make us Better, not Bitter!

America, Life, Motivation

Dream

Anthony Dixon

 

 

Dream

Last Night I had a Beautiful Dream, that was something refreshing for me. Usually my Subliminal ventures are Nightmares. In this Dream a Storm had just passed, in my Post Over Tampa, I told you how I slept through the first and only Hurricane that I had been through. In this Dream the Wind picked up all the Sand from the Beach and blanketed everything. The sheeting Rain followed, washing everything to a pristine cleaning. The Toxic Air was now gone, People could  Breath again, not Suffocated by a Hateful Mask.

Now a gentle Breeze rustled through the Leaves, they were singing, an Island Tune ran through my Head ” Don’t worry be happy, every little thing gonna be alright”. All the People who had took Shelter indoors were back outdoors enjoying the exhilarating feelings of togetherness. We were back on the Subway up in each other Face chasing the American Dream. The miserable congested Commute was back, who cares, that steady Paycheck was back. I was sitting at a Table in my Favorite Waterfront Cafe knocking Glass with a perfect stranger, who didn’t seem so strange. People were in the Streets like one Humongous Block Party. Not Protesting and Burning, but Embracing each other like seeing a friend they thought were Dead.

The Party was Kicking, Patti LaBelle was there singing ” You are my Friend, my Heart cried. The Beetles smashed the Animosity with ” Come together”, Jethro Thul’s ” Life is a long Song eradicated the Anxiety. The little wannabe Writer in my Head re- wrote Pat Benitar Lyrics to ” What are we running for, what are we running from, when there is no place for us to run to. Stand up and fight the Enemy of Hate, we shall be Invincible, us Americans are Pragmatic and Resultant. Man this is what I call a Kick-Ass Dream, I could sleep forever. Then I woke up to find that the Wicked Storm of the Virus is still blowing strong, Isolation has Blanketed me With Depression, my Wallet is shrinking.

I have been Blessed to have a steady Income, but what of my Neighbors who are facing Foreclosures and Eviction. I go up and down the Block checking on my Older Neighbors who won’t even go out to shop.  My Immune System have kept me Strong, but can it withstand a second Wave, can the Economy survive a second Wave. Anticipation and Anxiety is wearing me thin. Drinking alone is no Fun, no one is there to tell me that I am silly, so I talk to myself saying what a Nightmare.

From my Blog Page

Broken

I’ts okay to be a Glowstick, sometimes we have to break before we Shine

Morning Affirmation

Today is a Day of  happiness and peace I am grounded and centered. I am grateful for my beautiful Life that is filled with many Blessings. I move through my day with conciousness, grace and Love

Courage

You can never cross the Ocean unles you have the courage to lose sight of the Shore

A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there,

The best and most beautiful things in the World can not be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the Heart. (Helen Keller)

It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort, and when you bring that effort every single day that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs

You do not judge a great Fighter by how many fights won or lost, but by how many times he got knocked down and how many times he got up.

Parting Words from Toots.

Still is still moving to me

And I swim like a fish in the sea all the time

But if that’s what it takes to be free I don’t mind

Still is still moving to me

Still is still moving to me

And it’s hard to explain how I feel

It won’t go in words but I know that it’s real

I can be moving or I can be still

But still is still moving me

Still is still moving to me

And it’s hard to explain how I feel

It won’t go in words but I know that it’s real

I can be moving or I can be still

But still is still moving me

Still is still moving to me…

Source: LyricFind

America, Life, Motivation

Die By The Gun

Anthony Dixon

 

 

 

Die By the Gun

When I started writing Blogs, one of my Primary Objective was to tell young Juvenile Delinquents not to be like I was. If you have pent up Anger, lose it before it destroys you. One young Delinquent who visited my Website is Emanuel Donaldson the 3rd. He is awaiting Trial for four random Murders in my Area. I certainly hope he Shared the Link among the Population. My Wife calls me Repetitious, but if they are reading my Blogs in Prison, then Success is mine.

From eight years old to fourteen years old I was someone consumed with Repressed Anger, Hate and Violence. The reason for that was from being Abused three times in six years. Once by an older Cousin, once by a Church Brother and once by a Teacher. They all caused me tremendous Pain which almost made me Impervious to Pain. At twelve years old playing Soccer in the Schoolyard, an eighteen years old Biker Boy joined the Game. He had an Injured Foot and shouldn’t be in the Game playing with twelve years old Children. I accidentally stepped on his bad Foot, causing him great Pain. He retaliated by punching me in the Solar plexus with all his might sending me to the Ground sucking in Dirt trying to breathe. When I recovered I left the Game ran Home and returned with an eighteen inch Chef’s Knife.

He escaped Death by running into his House and slamming the Door. That was my fourth Abuse, I was bent on Revenge. I knew that he had to pass my House every Night to get Home. One Night I devised the perfect Murder, being skilled with Ropes and Knotts, I strung a Rope across the narrow Lane that was my Street. Like all Bikers he rode too fast, when his Neck found the Rope, it yanked him from the shiny Harley which crashed and Burned. The Clothes Line was tied to the Fence in a slip-Knot, I yanked on it releasing it, removing it and disappearing in the Night. He survived only to wear a Neck brace for nine Months. I was as Devious as they come, I would walk up to him and like a Hippocrate  asked him how he was doing, with great concern.

Today I work in a Justice System where a twelve years old Boy is awaiting Trial for Stabbing his Grandmother to Death. If I was on the Jury, I would concentrate on Extenuating Circumstances, what brought him to the Edge of Madness. Backing up to being fourteen with Repressed Anger, a sixteen years Thug was beating me senseless in the back of the Schoolyard. He was a Skilled Street Fighter who only used his Elbows, Knees and Head-But his Victims. I was just about to beg for Mercy when I found a Large Stick and unleashed six years of Repressed Anger on him. I Mannered that Boy up, he Whimpered and limped out of the Schoolyard. Feeling good about my Victory changed, when I learned that his two older Brothers eighteen and nineteen, were Gang Members with multiple Murders under thei’r Belts.

Revenge for beating thei’r Kid Brother Senseless was Inevitable. These Boys were Fearless, they thought their names were Frank and Jesse. One weekend there was a Gang Bangers Boogie in a close by Neighborhood. The two Brazen Gunmen Infiltrated The  Rival Turf. They were met by a Firing Squad, the Bullets in thei’r Bodies couldn’t all be counted. A couple of Days later thei’r Caskets were placed on thei’r front Lawn for those who cared to pay their Respect. Brazen me decided to show my Disrespect by showing up and opened the closed Caskets. Looking at thei’r unrecognizable Dimpled Faces, cured my Violent Nature for the rest of my Life. Never again did I wanted to be a Badass, never again did I wanted to own a Gun.

The Lesson I learned at Fourteen was that if you lived by the Gun, the Outcomes are Inevitable. Still fourteen years old, one Day I had a front Row Seat to witness how a true Professional Discharges his Duties. One of my next Door Neighbors had developed Mental Illnesses. Nassiboo had attacked his Father with a Machete leaving him at Death’s Door. He Terrorized the Neighborhood including me, sneaking up on me With the same Machete. When the Detective came to bring him in, it was a Celebration for me. The Officer stood on the two foot Brick Wall and Announced himself to Nassiboo and told him that he was there to Arrest him. The poor Demented Man charged the Officer with the same Machete he tried to Behead his Father with.

There were five other Officers there, the Lead Detective was the only one who fired his Weapon, one Merciful shot to the Groin. The Ambulance took forever to come, Nassiboo didn’t make it. Which brings us to the Motivation for this Blog. Fifty three years later and Law Enforcement haven’t been able to train their Officers to be as Proficient as this one Detective. Several years ago in the  Bronx, several Officers approached a Mentally Disturbed Black Man with a Knife in the Hallway of a Building. They all discharged thei’r Weapons like a Firing Squad, killing someone who should have been Tased. Those Occurrences happens Everyday in this Country. Marybeth Harshbarger shot and killed her Husband at fifty Yards, claiming it was an Accident. Mark once Bragged to me that she has hit Bullseye at one Thousand Yards.

Accident or Murder? You be the Judge. My Question is why don’t the Law Enforcement Agencies in this Country train their Officers to be as good as Marybeth. The Officers who Killed Breonna Taylor were at least Inept and Negligent. Once the first shot was fired the Situation should have become a Stand-off, they didn’t know if there were young Children in that Apartment. For that reason I believe that they should stand Trial for Negligent Homicide. Casting a Blind Eye and a Deaf Ear is Complicity. To you out there Protesting, the Pen is Mightier than the Gun, don’t Burn the Country Down, this is where I live. With all its Faults, America is still a Great Place to Live. Stand in the Place where you Live. Your Votes are more Powerful than all the Bullets in a Gatling Gun. God I Love this Writing Business, telling young People how not to live their Lives. It’s a darn shame I couldn’t see what my English Literature Teacher saw. Instead I chose to Party away my Learning years smoking the finest Strains grown around the World, listening to  Grateful Dead, The Who and Pink Floyd talking about being Comfortable Numb ” You can take the Words right from my Mouth”.

P.S. Baby Boy is all Grown Up, that’s how come a Juvenile Delinquent like me can end up working in a Justice System, instead of being in the System. My Message to you Wannabes is that no Good Deed goes unpunished.

America, Life, Motivation

Reaffirmation

Anthony Dixon

 

 

Reaffirmation

The way that People live their miserable Existence and interact with others, is enough for one to drop out of Society and become a Hermit. Many years ago while living in Pennsylvania, being a Nature lover, I would Hike uncharted Trails deep into the Woods. One Trail I charted for myself was a one and a half Mile incline only fitting the travels of a Billy Goat. At the bottom of this Gorge was a pristine Lake made by Nature, top of the up-climb was a Plateau of five Acres. Many times I contemplated buying and Building a Log Cabin. I knew that I was only dreaming, because my Wife hated the Woods. Regardless that is one of my secret Places far away from Bellicose People.

Yesterday I read an Article that gave Creditable reasoning for my Log Cabin. Right here in Florida, a seventy nine years old man who had lived in the same Home for twenty five years. Came Home one Day to find a Cinder Block Abutment erected two feet onto his Driveway and the Adjacent Property. The new Neighbor is said to be some kind of Minister, did I mention Bellicose. He bought the House, did his Survey of the Property and discovered that his Neighbor’s Driveway was two feet onto his five Acres Property. Without discussing it with the Man who have been living there for twenty five years, The Rambunctious Idiot threw up a Wall his first day of Ownership. I have seen on Police Drama Shows where bad Blood among Neighbors got ugly to the point of Murder.

Thank God that this Wall didn’t get to that point. Nonetheless it created a lot of Stress for a seventy nine years old Man trying to live out his remaining years in peace. The way we Live with each other never amazed me of the Underbelly of Life. Last Night coming Home at Twelve A .M. Something happened to me that I had to say, thank you Lord. As I have said over and again, I don’t go through life Blindfolded. I see things beyond the average Human Capabilities, I recognize such things as Inexplicable Occurrences. Things that can be perceived as signs from God. Before I left the House I had to use my portable Generator/ Compressor to put twenty one pounds of Air in one of my Tires.

I should have repaired the Tire right then and there, I had everything I needed to do it myself and it’s something that I do profeciently. I didn’t I just pumped it up, My Wife nags me all the Time that Men do things differently, she is right, they live on the Edge. As a result I had to pull off the Road coming Home and put more Air in the damaged Tire. While pumping up the Tire a Man Drove past me then backed up and asked me if I was ok. In these Dangerous Times that we are living in, that is something remarkable. If I was truly in need of help he was there for me. Isn’t that what this thing called Life is all about, looking out for each other, willing to lend a helping Hand.

So I said to myself thank you Lord for showing me that all is not lost when it comes down to Humanity, cause I would have done the same. Not even knowing if the Person was on the Run from the Law and would have Jacked the working Vehicle. That is the sign that my Soul needed in these Turbulent times of Race-baiting that we need each other and how Fragile we are. As the Song goes I need a Jukebox Hero, and there he was, regardless of Race, Color or Ethnicity. Thank you Lord for showing me that I should keep the Faith in My fellow Man because we’re are all not like that. It could have been a Car full of young Thugs willing to bashed my Brains in for the Change in my Wallet, but it wasn’t, it was my Guardian Angel. Talking about signs, I passed him along the way, then he passed me just before he made his turn off the Main Drag. I glanced in his Car and Focused on him looking for his Halo, all I saw was the Face of Love. As the saying goes I walk not just by Sight, but by Faith also. The Beetles said it Fifty years ago ” Come together right now over me”. I could go on and on about the Subject but I think that I have said a mouthful, as the Man said ” Read my Lips”. Parting Words,  “Games Without Frontiers, War without Tears” . Here are the Lyrics from my Favorite Song by my Favorite Group.

By Through The Roots

Where are we going

Look where we’ve been

Ignoring the signs

Blinding our eyes

Where will it end

We can live in the light

Or hide in the darknes

We continue to fight

Though we didn’t start this

And it’s killing me

See this world that we share

Painted by artists

Placing strokes without care

Think it’ll be easy to find some peace in a world but we’re are all just fighting each other

But a perfect pitch has a perfect plan and it’s not just a crushing of color

Can you hear my voice as I’m crying out

This is the movement, so move with me now, now

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We will rise higher, higher, higher

I believe that life is a canvas its all part of something bigger

Constantly changing with the times an ever evolving figure

What will it take to walk hand in hand change with the times and understand

Make harmony what’s unity

Erase the meaning of a foreign land

Now it’s a world with no borders

Demanding a new world order

Imagine that we never had to read another story of a life cut short by a murder

It should be easy to find some peace in a world since we all share this place with each other

Its up to us to spread the love around

We’ve got to support one another

Can you hear my voice as I’m crying out

This is the movement, so move with me now, now

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We will rise higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We can rise higher, higher, higher

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dwight Duncan / Troy Barrington Mclean / R. Mcleod / Carl Mcleod / Dwight Marvin Duncan / Carlton Oliver Mcleod / Raymond Mcleod / Raymond Vincent Mcleod