Category: Life

Life

Secret Places

Anthony Dixon

Secret Places

Ever since Childhood I have always had secret places, somewhere I could go and loose myself or whatever troubled me. I even have a secret place in my Mind sort of like Zen,  mostly it’s Meditation,there I can lock out everything from Pain to stress. As far as Physical places are concerned the Ocean and the Wilderness are my favorite. When I gaze across the Ocean I become humbled at its vastness above and below. When I ponder it’s creation I become intoned with my Spirituality, accepting that Life is bigger than you or I, thinking that I am better than a lowly Vagrant is just about Sacrilegious.

One of my Mental Lighthouses that brings me back the Earth and keep me grounded is creating a picture in my mind of Jesus washing the dirty smelly Feet of his Disciples, that is an absolute backhand to all the Egomaniacs in the world, the King of Kings washing Feet in a Slavelike manner to teach us Humility, that is my favorite secret Place, the Lighthouse of my Spirituality. Without having so many secret Places I am certain that I could not have overcome day to day living in such an Evil Society where Injustice, Persecution and Brutality is the Norm, Babylonian Mentality is acceptable Christianity is undermined, just look at Social Media posting a Baboon masturbating .

How could I live and function in such a sick Society without taking up Vantage the way the Las Vegas Shooter did venting his Breakdown, If he had my secret places all those People would still be alive today. That is what happens when you take it all to Heart and have no place to Recoil. When I lived in Pennsylvania I contemplated building a Log Cabin high on a Mountain where my next Door Neighbor was five miles away. I ditched the Idea for my Wife’s sake, she does not like the Wilderness, also that would be like dropping out of Society. Instead I stayed among you to show you that Baby Boy is all grown up, mentally I am living on that Mountain.

The average person is unable to rise above Social upheavals as I did and so they acted out and up, to their Demise. 1971 I almost lashed out on Society by Joining the Black Panther Party. On my way to be initiated the Safe house blew up killing two members, God have always protected me from the Valley of Death and Society. When I was seventeen if you told me that I would be operating my own Website excersisng Freedom of Speech, I would have called you Nuts. Back then my secret Place was Marijuana and Colt45, my my have we evolved. Today I open my Liquor Cabinet Loaded with everything from Grand Marnier to Courvoisier when I was twenty this would have been my secret Place.

I look in my Medicine Cabinet and I see a Bottle with twenty seven and a half OxiContin that was never and will never be one of my secret places growing up in a Drug Culture have cured me. Music is in my top five secret Places I have listened to so much Music I am Driving in my Car Radio off and I hear Bob “there is a Natural Mystic blowing in the Air” and Yes Babbling about taking the White Queen for a Wife, while Neil Young Southern Man Drowns them all out, while Beethoven’s 5th Symphony crescendos, I am quite sure he had many secret Places, how else could he have created the 5th. A Day without music is total Madness. My other great secret Place lies in Great Quotes as in ” a person’s most beautiful asset is not a Head full of Knowledge, but a Heart full of Love, an Ear ready to Listen and a Hand willing to help others”. “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the Rational mind is a faithful Servant, we have created a Society that Honor’s the Servant and has forgotten the Gift” ( Einstein) . Lincoln ” Nearly all. Men can stand Adversity but if you want to test a Man’s Character give him Power”. “Without all my secret places I would be just another victim of Society”( Anthony Dixon) . This is my 4th website, I have been writing Blogs for two and a half years, for two and a half years my Wife has been livid about the time I spend on my websites writing Blogs. I have been Married for thirty seven years, if I had started writing thirty six years ago your guess is as good as mine. This is my Ultimate Secret Place, and you my friends are looking through the Windows of my Life.

Health, Life

It’s A Wonderful Life

Anthony Dixon

The Life you save

It’s a Wonderful Life

Don’t Blow it

Approaching the Winter of my Life I realize that it could have been  my Autumn Harvest of Longevity, my Mother lived to be ninety seven. Instead I am dreading the approaching years of my Life. One year ago my Doctor told me that she wished all Her Parents were as healthy as my Wife and myself,  Six Months ago on my Biannual Physical she told me that I had Emphysema. What a kick in the Pants sixty seven years old, Healthy as a Horse that needs Lasex to win the Race of my Life. God forgive me for throwing away a perfect Specimen of Life and Health by sucking on Cancer Sticks since I was fourteen. It’s no wonder that when my Doctor gave me the bad News I didn’t twitch a muscle.

I had been expecting it for fifty three years and never once tried to quit. My Wife got up one Day decided that she wasn’t going to continue killing herself anymore, cold Turkey,  that was thirty years ago, she stuck to her Guns. Just around the same time my Brother woke up one morning couldn’t breathe,  that was the last Day he smoked a Cigarette. Who me? Stupid is written on my Forehead, thirty years ago a chest X-ray revealed spots on my Lungs. My Doctor inquired what Brand of Cigarettes  I 🚬 smoked, I told him the most popular Menthol on the Market. He advised me to throw them away and never smoke another or the Spots would turn to Holes, the Chemical they used to make them so smooth were deadly.

I took his advice and the Spots went away, you would have Thought that I would have taken such a close call at thirty and quit smoking period. Sad to say that the Letters on my Forehead dominated the next thirty six years. Now from where I stand Idiot is carved on the back of my Head. When my Doctor gave me the bad News I could hear her unspoken Words ” I have been trying to tell you for years, if you play with fire you will get Burn” in other words I told you so. For years every time she saw me she asked me if I was still smoking, I started smoking at the early age of Fourteen,   authorities in the Medical Field states that smoking at such a young age causes the most Damage due to the delicate under developed Organs.

I have told you many times that my secret weapon for dealing with Life was to always learn from other People’s mistake, not this time around. What’s your excuse? Being the vigilant one always looking at other people’s life and always steering away from Hazardous Lifestyles have kept me from certain Death and Prisons. For instance at nineteen my Best Friend in High School inherited a decent amount of money which he invested the whole amount in Illegal Drugs. Setting up Shop in an Expensive luxury High Rise Apartment Building supplying the Rich and Famous. One Day he returned to NY and searched me out with the offer of running his Business for him and becoming a Kingpin.

I thought it out thoroughly and turned him down flat. The last time I saw him twenty years ago he was running from the FBI. If I was always capable of making good Judgement calls how come I could not make the call of my Life to quit smoking Cigarettes. I’ll tell you why I became addicted to all the Chemicals they put in each Cigarette and didn’t recognize that I had developed a chemical dependency. Bad enough being addicted to Nicotine but Amonia,  Arsenic,  and a host of other deadly Chemicals, now who is the Stupid one for not running out there and getting the Patch after I have told you that your Body after a while develops a liking to all the  poison they use to make them burn smoothly longer and evenly.

Me I am a Dead Man Walking you do not have to walk in my Footprints the time to change the Course of your Death is now. Not waiting to get where I am now and is struggling with a huge withdrawal Dilemma of quitting for twelve Hours and running out the next day and buying a pack because it’s in my Blood and Organs. Of all the times I read the Surgeon General’s warnings on just about every Pack of Cigarettes before I opened them, I always equated them to Just Advertisements. To say the least I should have quit five years ago maybe I would have dodge the Bullet, My Mother died of Respiratory Failure. She never smoke, couldn’t afford to, she suffered with Asthma most her Life.

They removed her from the Respirator,  medicated her with Morphine and put her in a Room to Expire. When you are in Respiratory Failure the Machine becomes you, there is no quality of Life. I was the one who spent the night with her on Death Watch. She had told me many times not to let her Die alone so I obligated Her Wish. That one Night should have made me quit. Watching her gasping for one Breath then count to ten to Grasp the next, that was a Revelation to the Fragility of Life, yet after one hour sleep I went to work at the Nursing Home where I worked daily looking at People, returning the next Day to find their Doors closed, many of them Smokers. Today I am telling you my Door is closing slowly yet I still smoke. Thursday January tenth 2019 a new Survey revealed that Nicotine  is the third most addictive substance behind Heorine and Cocaine. I realize that the Addiction is bigger than I am so next month when I see my Doctor I am asking for the Patch. Life is Wonderful don’t Blow it smoking Cigarettes.

P.S.  Now I understand what they tried  to say to me,  I was not listening then, they are still not Listening now.( Don McLean)

You are Dead right I am trying to Scare you to Live.

To say the least it’s bad for your Skin