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Life

You Can’t Run Away from Yourself

Anthony Dixon

 

 

Hate is a Powerful Emotion and a Dangerous one. It can cause Ill-Effects on your Health Physically and Emotionally, on others also. It can Destroy People’s Lives, yours also. It can have effects on how you deal with Family Members and the People you work with.

Nineteen seventy one, I was seventeen years old working full-time and going to School. I worked for a High Class Restaurant located on fifth Avenue where Dinner was one Hundred Dollars a Plate. I was a Pantry Chef, the Money was Great for a High School Kid. The Exposure to different People and Lifestyles were Awesome. My Boss however was a Hater who had no Respect for Black People even if you were seventeen years old, great at what you do and never received one Complain, only Compliments and Tips from the Customers.

My Grandma was a Baker, known for Miles for her Cakes. I was only Four but I was her little helper, always watching and tasting. My Mother was a Professional Cook, working in Kitchens before any other Women. Her word of Advice, whatever you do, be the Best, always go the extra Mile. She said that Racists will never Accept you but they will Respect you for the Job you Do. Mother wasn’t usually wrong about anything, except this one. This was my first real Job, a test for Moms Declaration, It failed miserably. This Man didn’t care that I was making him one Thousand Dollars per Night. I was Black and that was that. He tried to humiliate me in front of the all white Wait Staff. So began my Odysseus of  walking out of good Jobs once the ugly Head of Racism popped up.

On my way to work riding the number four Train where I did my Homework. I couldn’t concentrate to do my Homework. All I could think about was going to work and throwing my Boss from the sixtieth Floor. From my Violent Youth I know that it was time to go. When I was fourteen I kicked a Teacher’s Ass for grabbing my Testicles. I know that he would eventually loose that Eye. I exited the Train at forty second Street, walked up fifth Av went upstairs, punched in and immediately punched back out. This was the first of many good paying Jobs I walked out on not giving one minute notice. I have no problems with Closet Haters, after all this is America, Freedom of Choice. All I ask is, keep your Ignorance to yourself. Don’t put me in a Corner and poke me with a Stick. My Wife says that I use Biblical Quotes self servingly.

My Right Hand have offended me on just about every Jobs that I have worked in this Hateful Land. Nineteen seventy seven I did the same thing working at an all White County Club in Texas, this was a no Brainer. My Boss called me across the Dining Room floor, ” Mr Dixon, please come here,” one of the Members stood up and ask, what is this World coming to? Did you hear that White Man called that Nigger Mr. Again my Mind told me to react Violently, once again I walked out on a good paying Job. I was not taken aback by his Vociferous Diatribe, after all this was Texas 1977. The only things they Detested more than Interracial Marriages were Hippies and Drugs. To be caught with less than an ounce of Marijuana could get you twenty years.

Five years earlier a young Black Man who had a White Girlfriend was beaten within Strands of his Life and dumped across State Line, in a Ditch to Die of his Wounds. They wave the Confederate Flag Proudly. Nineteen seventy nine I was Grandfathered into the Investment Banking Company of Solomon Brothers Inc. Working as a Contract Employee I was given the choice of working for Solomon or to be desolved along with the Contract. Filling out Employment Forms were only a Formality, I was already guaranteed the Job. The Personnel Manager was Dumbfounded by the Number of Jobs that I had for my Age. Little did he know that Solomon was also  Destined for my List of former Employment. I worked in the Internal Security Department.

Our Job was to protect the Company’s Assets of six Billion Dollars, some Instruments were Bearer Bonds, one piece of paper that was worth Millions. Another part of my department’s Job was to protect the Company’s Data. One Day while walking through the Mergers and Acquisitions Department, I noticed papers left on a Xerox Machine. I started reading The Copies left behind, my Curiosity exploded. I started digging through the Garbage Can. What I found could have made me an instant Millionaire. I had in my possession Inside Information on a Hostile Takeover. My findings and my Report made it to John Gutfreund’s Desk. Months went by and The Issue was Water under the Bridge. Nonetheless The King of Wall Street knew who I was and had developed The highest Respect for me.

One Day while waiting for the Elevator, a Crowd gathered, Gutfreund emerged from the Crowd of all Managing Directors. They were showering him with Praise. I guess that Huge Money was made. The Elevator arrived,  wanting to be the first off the Elevator, I allowed them all to get on ahead of me. I entered the Elevator and turned my Back to the Crowd. Someone in the Crowd tapped me on my Shoulder, I looked around, it was Gutfreund, he said good Morning young Man. He didn’t say a word to the Crowd of Brownnosers, I was the only one on that Elevator that he spoke to. I felt like a Weasel for not speaking first. The Respect He showered me with had a Humbling Effects.

When the Vault was Audited I was assigned to Babysit The Accountants, when his Twelve Million Dollars Apartment on Fifth Avenue was Renovated, I was given the Assignment to Babysit The Contractors. There were Retired Police Officers in the Department, yet I was chosen to protect John’s Array of Priceless Ming Collection. Mr G as I called him had restored all my Self respect that was taken from me by Haters. The Director of my Department was a Retired NYC Chief of Police, his Assistant was also a Retired Chief of Police, both Haters. Within a short while they were both replaced. The replacement, a Retired FBI Biggie and a Retired NYC Police Sergeant, both Haters. I asked myself, is this Hate Business Institutionalized? The Department was basically purged. One of my new Coworkers once asked me how did I get in. In other words, I was Black, he continued, who do you know.

In other Words a Black Man couldn’t secure a Position in a Prestigious Company like Solomon without a Hook. At that time in our Glorious History Black People were far and few on Wall Street. To work on Wall Street you had to be the very best at what you do, if you are Black. I thought that I had secured my Last Job, despite the Atmosphere, I was going to Retire from Solomon in twenty five years. The Fringes were Phenomenal. My first year Bonus was eight Thousand Dollars the Healthcare package better than Government Employees. My Profit sharing Investment in High Risk grew quickly. Why would I leave, I decided that the Slings and Arrows of Hate couldn’t chase me away. How Naive I was. After Ten years of Exceptional Service.

One Day I visited Solomon’s new location on the sixty ninth Floor of the World Trade Center. I was so Taken by the Ambience, I quickly submitted my request for a Transfer. Being a Model Employee who only missed two Days of work in ten years, I was certain that it was a done Deal. Was I in for a Surprise when my Hateful Superiors Denied my Transfer, strictly on the Color of my Skin. I was once again Face to Face with the Ugly Heads of Medusa. Once again I cut my Right Hand off. I Cashed in my Portfolio, flipped them the 🐦 and moved to Pennsylvania. One Day while working in a Resort, I watched the Worst Day in American History.

I didn’t see the Planes hit the Buildings, all I saw was the Building that Solomon occupied collapsing Floors after Floors till there was only Dust. All my Friends were gone, so were my Enemies, Solomon lost nine Hundred Employees, I would have been Nine o one. I remember the Day that my Transfer was Blocked. My Mother saw my Depression and asked me what was wrong. I told her that they Blocked my Transfer. She responded everything happens for a Reason, God has Plans for you. My Advice to you who are on your way, don’t do as I did, when the Heat gets Hot don’t run stand your Ground and fight. Nobody is giving you anything for free. Most of all earn your Respect, never lose your Self Respect because of what Haters do or say.

These are the Lyrics to my favorite Song by my favorite Group Through the Roots.

Where are we going

Look where we’ve been

Ignoring the signs

Blinding our eyes

Where will it end

We can live in the light

Or hide in the darknes

We continue to fight

Though we didn’t start this

And it’s killing me

See this world that we share

Painted by artists

Placing strokes without care

Think it’ll be easy to find some peace in a world but we’re are all just fighting each other

But a perfect pitch has a perfect plan and it’s not just a crushing of color

Can you hear my voice as I’m crying out

This is the movement, so move with me now, now

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We will rise higher, higher, higher

I believe that life is a canvas its all part of something bigger

Constantly changing with the times an ever evolving figure

What will it take to walk hand in hand change with the times and understand

Make harmony what’s unity

Erase the meaning of a foreign land

Now it’s a world with no borders

Demanding a new world order

Imagine that we never had to read another story of a life cut short by a murder

It should be easy to find some peace in a world since we all share this place with each other

Its up to us to spread the love around

We’ve got to support one another

Can you hear my voice as I’m crying out

This is the movement, so move with me now, now

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We will rise higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we come together

We can get higher, higher, higher

I believe that if we stand together

We can rise higher, higher, higher

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dwight Duncan / Troy Barrington Mclean / R. Mcleod / Carl Mcleod / Dwight Marvin Duncan / Carlton Oliver Mcleod / Raymond Mcleod / Raymond Vincent Mcleod

Life

Velenamous Neighbors

Anthony Dixon

 

 

The World's Greatest Daredevil

 

Rosewood USA

Once upon a time in a Mythical Place called Florida, newly freed Slaves settled in a Mythical Place called Rosewood Florida. What’s up with all this Mythical Talk you ask? What transpired in Rosewood should only happen in a Mythological setting. The Town was settled in the year 1847 by both Blacks and whites under the Jim Crow Laws( Black only- White only) that law ruled till 1968. That goes to show how Racist America hold on to its Diehard Bigotry, old Habits die hard,  old Confederate Soldiers fade away. Anyway Rosewood’s main Economy Dissipated in the late 1800 and the White Population decimated by 1890. That left 200 People all Black except for one white family that ran the General Store.

See they will take your Money, but no Respect while you Patronize their Stores. In the Summer of 1923 Fannie Taylor who was having an Affair with a White Man and whose Dalliance probably got rough. She ended up with Bruises she couldn’t explain to her Husband. Counting Ten untill her Lover was in safe Distance, she began screaming. When her Neighbor responded they found Fannie covered with Bruises. She told them that she was Assaulted by a Black Man. However she did Stipulate that she wasn’t Raped. The countless number of Black Men who were Tortured and killed on the word of Thousands of Fannies is an American Legacy.To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee centres on Atticus Finch’s attempts to prove the innocence of Tom Robinson, a black man who has been wrongly accused of raping a white woman in 1930s Alabama.

The White Woman Syndrome continues to May 2020. A white Woman walking her Dog in Central Park was admonished by a Black Man about keeping Social Distance. She whipped out her Cellphone and called the NYC Police and reported that she was threatened by a Black Man. That was more than enough reason for him to receive a Bullet to the Head. It happened to Randy Evans 1972, he was only Fifteen, it also happened to Travon Martin seventeen years old 2013, not far from Rosewood Florida. One Hundred years after the Mob defending Fannie Taylor’s Honors destroyed every Building in Rosewood, including the Churches. The Mob was accompanied by the Ku Klux Clan, five Hundred strong, another American Legacy. Over twenty Black People lost their Lives.

Twenty five Children escaped the Carnage by running into the Woods. Talking about Home Grown Terrorism, another American Legacy since 1794 against Blacks. Again a Government by the People for the People, except the Black People. A Government who have sat on their Hands for four Hundred years while the Genocide continues to May 2020 in (Rosewood) Minneapolis. Where a Black Man was Murdered while in Handcuffs by someone whose Tax Dollars paid the Murderer’s Salary. The Children of Rosewood USA rose up one Hundred years after they escaped into the Woods to save their Lives. They took to the Streets pretty much the same way the French did 1750 and relieved Marie Antoinette of her Head. The Children of Rosewood have taken to the Streets the World ovre yelling “I can’t Breathe”.

The Beleaguered Leader of Rosewood USA rants, let them eat Bullets, send in the Military. Little did he know that after the Military killed the first Hundred, the Civil War is On. Americans with Bitch Attitudes have always thought that that they could mess with the World, with Impunity. Vietnam proved them wrong. A Conventional Army is defenceless against Guerrilla Warfare. Lieutenant Callie proved to them that the only way to win a Guerilla War is to kill them all. He was a US Army Lieutenant who walked into a Vietnamese Village and Killed everything that moved, Children and Grandparents including. If there are any survivors no matter how Impartial, from seeing all the Brutality, they now become the Combatants.

The Birth of Terrorism in the Middle East proves that Theory. America have casted a Blind Eye on White Extremists Home Grown Terrorism for four Hundred years. Now you want to kill the Terrorized with the Military. Shame is another American Legacy. As many of my Readers know I work in a County’s Justice System. As I sat on one of the upper Floors looking down on the Retention Pond. A Solitary Duck was Swimming with the Pond all to himself. A law enforcement Officer approached the Window. He pointed out what I was observing and said, I guess that if you can’t get along with your Velenamous Neighbors, then I guess it’s better to live by yourself. What an Anology for the sequence of Events that has transpired in the past two Weeks. Did I mention no Shame, no Remorse and no Repentance. He was Preaching drawing a Line through this Country, Whites only / Blacks Only. From 1968 to present Day I have seen Dramatic Changes in this Country. I may be Naive but I believe that for the most, People of all Colors and Races wants to get along and Live in Harmony. The same People who put Jesus on the Cross are the same People here today talking about Velenamous Neighbors. My Anology of his Anology, if you corner a House Cat and taunts it with a Stick it will Roar like a Lion and Claws like one. This Kitty has been poked for four Hundred years, by now it should be a Raving Psychopath. Now you call me Velenamous. How many Roads must a Wise man Travel and how many Rivers must he swim to escape The Wrought of your Hate. Velenamous you say?

Life

Rosewood Massacre | HISTORY

Anthony Dixon

I dug up this Piece of American History that were not Thought to me in any of my History classes. I believe it should be shared to the World. Click on the link below and you will see that another Civil War is in the making.

https://www.history.com/topics/early-20th-century-us/rosewood-massacre

America, Life, Motivation

R.I.P

Anthony Dixon

That was just a Dream

Wrong is just Wrong

The System Fails us Daily, I should’nt have  the Notion to touch Base with it. People far more qualified have tackled it and failed. However I must observe that Man have been Flawed since the Day Cain rose up out of Jealousy and  Killed. No Matter how near or Far, if you Kill in the absence of self defense, you are Flawed. That’s a nice way of saying you are Abnormal, in a way Handicapped, being unable to Rationalize your Thoughts before you Act. With that said I must tell you about a young Woman I met years ago. She was Vacationing with her Parents at the Resort I worked. Being a People Person I struck up a Conversation with her Parents. When I told them that I Blogged, they asked me to write about Jenny.

I asked them to talk about their Daughter who sat in a Wheelchair in a Degenerative Paulsey condition. While they talked she listened intensely and made poor speech gestures, agreeing and disagreeing. Jenny turned out to be one of the most Fascinating People I have ever met. She proved to me that we are who exactly who or what we choose to be. She was one of the Poster Children that forced Government and Society to create Handicap Accessibility to Public Buildings. Once that was accomplished after a long Uphill Battle, she went on to School and obtained two Degrees In Social Science dealing with People of her Kind. The sad outcome, she never landed a Job in her Field. All everyone saw was her Debilitating Physical appearance, not the Gifted Mind and Resilience. So you see  Prejudice goes beyond Color or Race.

The World's Greatest Daredevil

Sad but nonetheless a true Story of Human Strength. Something that so few posses, the strength to hold Convictions and to be resolute with what you do with your Life. I was given the Conviction to change my Life and I did. It is so easy to Blame, even tho God gave you Convictions to change the things you are able to change, and to accept with Serenity that which you can’t.The Choice to Hate is equivalent to Smoking Cigarettes, it’s a bad choice, you know that it’s bad for your Health, yet you puff away. Well my Friend Hate carry the same weight for your Mental Health, Nonetheless you Puff away on the Cigarette called Hate. Remember the Word Abnormal, unable to constructively rationalize your Thoughts. It’s an absolute Shame that some  Institutions are named after Great Men.

My High School for instance, William Howard Taft. When I attended Taft it was eighty five percent White, ten percent Black and five percent Latino. The latter two came to the Neighborhood for a better Life, a safer Place than the Hood, most of all a better Education. The Neighborhood’s Racial Gentrification was  representative of the School. The Abnormal  Attitude that these People had was that we didn’t belong there.(“This Land is your Land this Land is my Land , this Land was made for you and me”) After School there were Black Bashing, White Bashing and Gay Bashing, welcome to the Bronx 1969. America was on Fire with Hate and the Fire still Burns today. Doctor King Squelched it somewhat but the Embers refuse to be extinguished. The Movie the Bronx Tale said it all.

I have been walking through the Valley of the Shadows of Death for fifty Years. I am not coining Phrases, 1971 I escaped the Shadows of Death by God’s Grace. Years after many Black Men had Sacrificed their Lives so I could walk down an all white Street and wasn’t set upon by Children of Haters who inherited their Parents Hate, or  overzealous Block Watchers or even the Cops, like it happened to me in 1971. This was  Just around the time when J Edgar Hoover ran the FBI like a Luftwaffe. He  waged War on the Black Panther Party killing everything that looked Militant. At that point in time it appeared that Racism was Institutionalized in America. Many Days walking through White Neighborhoods all I could hear in my Head was Arlo Godfry’s song ” this Land is your Land this Land is my Land this Land was made for you and me”.

That Sentiment almost got my Friends and I Killed walking through all White Bensonhurst Brooklyn 1971. It was a beautiful Summer’s Day we were on our way to a Backyard Cookout near Bensonhurst. We got off the Train and  decided to take a shortcut through an all White Block. We weren’t half way through the Block before we were swarmed by Cops with Tactical Gears, the only thing they didn’t have was Rocket Launchers. Five well Dressed Black Kids, the oldest was nineteen. If one of us got nervous and ran or reached for Identification, we  would all be Dead, they all had Shotguns. After we showed ID and explained where we were heading the Trigger Fingers were relaxed, one Cop explained that a Neighbor called and told them that a Black Gang was loitering in the Neighborhood. This is not about the angry Black Man Syndrome, I am way beyond small People with big Hate. I am on a Cloud looking Down on them knowing that I overcame all their Hate and have none of my own. One good thing about Living in America for over fifty years, I have seen one of Dr King’s Dream come true, watching a Rainbow Collation of People marching for George Floyd. Forget about the Looters and Rebel Rousers, they have been around since 1794 yelling Guillotine. Stand Tall America, your time has come to show the World who you are.

Health, Life

The Luckiest People

Anthony Dixon

Contamination

Town Crier

Barbara Streisand said it best,  ” People who needs People are the Luckiest People in the World. The World is going through the most Catatonic period it has ever seen. We have lost so many and many more to go, could be me, could be you. Yesterday I learned that one of my Coworkers tested positive. Someone I sat with less than six feet, yet the Lord was good to me And I am still Standing. It doesn’t hit home until someone you know gets Sick. Then you know how Fragile we are and how much we need each other. Lonely People up in Age who have to fend for themselves. Lonley People whose only outlet is going to a Bar and shoot the Breeze with another lonely Stranger.

Now they stay at home and do what a Social Drinker abhors, drinking alone, trying to calm their Nerves from drowning in Despair of the Unknown. All the Parks and Beaches closed, all the Waterfront Cafe’s closed, what is a person who lives alone is supposed to do to keep their Sanity. I heard some people say that they don’t need anyone, absolutely Farce. I remembered my Mother drowning in the Unknown of Dementia, Dazed and Confused for the better part of her Days. I visited her seven Days of the Week even if I had to put my own Life on the Backburner. The reason for that is I know that with Dementia the further one slips into Despair and Confusion, the harder it is for them to come back to Life, back to Reality. Many Days when I walked through the Door she said to me ” you found me” I always knew where she was, she didn’t.

Oftentimes she told me that I was the Highpoint of her Day. How do you think that made me feel. Not that she was my Mother and that I was only doing what a Thoughtful Son should do. I was being a Human being to another Human Being. Isn’t that the Fundamental principles of this thing called Life? Helping your fellow Man along the way, putting a Ray of Sunshine in Someone’s Glumy Day. The Beetles said it appropriately ” lonely Days lonely Nights where would I be without my Woman”. Well many of us are realizing the answer during the Days of Isolation and Lockdown. Many of my older Neighbors haven’t seen Sunshine in Months, even tho the sun rarely takes a rest in Florida home of the World’s Largest Senior Population. They are the most Vulnerable, so they stay put.

If not for Humanitarian efforts they would perish wheather they tested positive or from Depression Despair and starvation. Why does it take a Pandemic to show us that People need People. That’s just the way we are made, that’s the reason why we are here, I get by with a little help from my Friends. For instance me highlighting our basic Characteristics to you, that’s why we are here, some of us are Healers, some of us are Givers, some are Teachers, some are Shepherds. Bottom Line we serve each other. I have always held the Contention that there are four kinds of People in the World. People that makes things happen, people who wonder what just happened here, People who wonder how did they do it and those who don’t give a damn.

I just don’t understand why it takes Catastrophes to bring us together why can’t everyday be Christmas. The week of Christmas everyone has a smile and Greetings for each other, some even perform acts of Kindness. Like the Person who told the Cashier to add my items to Her Bill. Over sixty years of living and nothing like that had ever happened to me before. Was God sending me a Message? Nonetheless I have always extended myself to others. When I worked in a Nursing Home in Pennsylvania I went out of my way to make the Residents last days on this Earth as pleasant as possible. I visited them in their Rooms individually, have great Conversations, listen to their Life Stories, tell them Jokes, Sing Love Ballads, I even cooked food at Home and bring it in for them.

Many of them riddled with Dementia and I was their moment of Clarity, which gave me a sense of purpose. On the lite side, one Resident who always asked me to go to the Store and buy his Lottery Tickets, told the Director that his Powerball Ticket won and I kept the Proceeds. The poor thing was riddled with Dementia, I didn’t stop loving him, Bob Dylan said it best ” Everybody got to serve Someone”. When I told them that I was moving to Florida, my favorite Resident Nellie told me that I was going to forget about them, well Nell this one is for you. You are always in my Heart and Prayers. I hope you survive this Parasite that Prays on the Old and Feeble ones. Having high Risk Factors I am Admant about wearing a Mask and taking safe Measures in handling Protective Equipments. When I wear a Mask in the Courthouse I don’t remove it until I am outside the Building.

Wearing a Mask in a possible Contaminated Building and hanging it on your Rearview is now contaminating your Car. If you are going to reuse it you should put it in a plastic Bag, take it home and spray it with Alcohol. I leave the house with three or four Masks, whenever I take one off I bag it. Wearing the same gloves all Day is spreading contamination. My Contribution to this Pandemic is to tell you that wearing a Mask in Public is your safest Measures. My Role in this Crisis is to be the Town Crier, “when you are out in the public, Wear Your Mask”. I have COPD yet I wear one for eight Hours, there is no Public a place than a Courthouse. Wearing a Mask protests you from Microscopic airborne Particles. I worked in Hazmat for many Years I know what I am talking about. ” wear your Mask”.

Proper Hygiene is the Answer