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Life

Living A Lie

Anthony Dixon

 

Living A Lie



The mendacity of thinking that you are better than someone else for whatever reason is nothing short of blind ignorance. For instance you are a blonde blue eyed Hunk whose family manufactured five Dollars Cuban Cigars, went to the finest Schools, had upstairs and downstairs maids. If you go to the Bathroom and wiped your Ass the as I do, dispel the thought that you are better than I am. Better off, yes better Educated yes  more privileged yes. That is the extent of your superiority. Jose R. Was a man with the features of a Greek God, with more money than the average millionaire which is not a bad thing. What was bad about Jose, was that his Parents raised him to believe that he was better than everyone else. All that changed when Fidel Castro took Power in Cuba and nationalized all of America’s interest on the Island.



Castro was not prejudice, he took away whatever the Rich Cubans had also, including Jose’s Tobacco Plantation and Manufacturing facilities, his Yachts and Mansions. Jose and his family was now penniless and running for their lives. Dylan  puts it best “once upon a time in your Prime you dressed so fine and you throw the Bums a Dime” now Jose was down and out in Beverly hills flat on his back scrounging like the Bums he threw dimes at. My Cousin was a fine Seamstress who designed and fabricated clothes for many of the upper crust in America.  The good hearted soul she was married Jose thinking that she could nurse him back to life. Big mistake, when he was rolling in Dough it covered the ugly little man he was. Now poverty had undressed a Bum. He refused to work and pick himself back up to where he had been. He was now a beaten broken little man whose ambition was left in Cuba. Nonetheless he still possessed his feelings of superiority, while he took handouts from his hardworking wife.


I know that he still taught he was better than everyone else, when Richard Nixon gave a speech on television while he watched and snickered calling him a little piece of shit. I thought to myself if he felt that way about Nixon,  what of me. The world is befuddled thinking  that rich and privileged people are better than us little shits. I have taught of Nixon to be many things, but not in Jose’s view. For that matter no one. But that’s how it is when your parents allowed you to grow up thinking that your shit don’t stink.Raising your kids to think like that poses future problems for them, society and you.  During my lifetime I was fortunate to have met two men whose combined worth was one Billion dollars neither of them made me feel that I was any less than they were . One of them was one of the original owners of Radioshack, he confide in me that when both of his sons graduated College, he gave them Jobs at the bottom of his Conglomerate to teach values and humility. That’s what Parenting is all about, not giving them office’s next to him on thirtieth floor so that they would  think that they were Royalty and have the same attitude as Jose. Life is short and unpredictable, the same wind that took you up can bring you down. That is why I try to live my life in a manner that God would be proud of me. Don’t forget that he made Man in his own Image. It would be cold of me not to tell you how Jose ended it all. He chased every skirt in the streets and every tight pants Boys, he contracted Aids and took his wife and his rambunctious attitude with him to the other life  I guess that he found out too late that change is good. May God rest his Soul.



Life

Seasons Change

Anthony Dixon

Seasons Change

life is like two nano seconds, it happens way too fast not to seize precious time given to us. In my mind’s eye I still see my first day of school, not paying attention to the teacher, instead I watched the freightliners drifting across the Bay. Then in a flash the years had passed, and the child was now a man raising children of his own and his own childhood had drifted by. When my kids were eleven I went out of my way to provide play time and to make sure they weren’t burning themselves out with school work, what did I know  that the sooner you applied yourself to the task, the earlier  success can be achieved.



When my hero Mattie  Stepanek was eleven he was preparing to die while writing poems and Books. In Matt’s case he was forced to live his days in nano  time because his time on this Earth was etched with the urgency of his mortality, that extinguished his light at thirteen. Some of us are blessed or cursed with visions of our mortality, so we make hay while the sun shines.  When I was fourteen  I was barreling down on my mortality by wanting to live the street life. I once  beat a Bully  senseless not knowing that his two older brothers seventeen and eighteen had killed many people and that I was next, fate have always been my protective gear like a bullet proof vest, the hands of fate snatched the two executioners up in a hail of bullets before they caught up to me, to extract revenge.



Still oblivious of the urgency of steering the Ship called life fast and straight. High School was one big party it was the age of Disco,  party till you drop. Before I knew it the portal for higher learning was closed, a Husband and Father had no time for School. The Seasons had changed. Life comes at you fast, whatever your Hands touch do it with all your might. My life reflects the life of many who took it all for granted, wasted youth can never be relived, not realizing that your lifespan  is only a portal that allows you to maximize the time given us all, before it’s closed. Use it wisely before the last grain of sand descends.



That is why I am here  to tell, that it is never too early to reach your potential to do great things with your life, the way that God planned it for you. Don’t be distracted by frivolity. Growing up fast and straight at an early age  is prodigious and wise. Too many of us live our lives in a childlike wonder where playtime dictates adult life. My friend Mattie had lived four seasons in one early spring.  When he Died at thirteen he was an Author, Poet and friends with Presidents. If I knew then what I know now the winter of my discontent would be one of bountiful harvest. Neil Young puts it best when he said it’s better to burn out than fade away.

Parenting And Relationships

Filicide

Anthony Dixon

Filicide


When Kids kill their Parents it is called Patricide, Filicide describe a deliberate act of  parents killing their infant child, other than murderous little Critters . Every time I read one of these heinous stories it involves teenage parents shaking, smothering or beating the life out of some poor infant that wouldn’t stop crying. This type of parenting occurs when immature Teenagers who could not wait to grow up and live the  adult life , which comes with responsibility, again that word. My Blogs are crawling with the word Responsibility. Raising two teenage boys by herself, my mother told us that it was a struggle raising us, and she was not about to raise our children.



Her advice was, when you are out there feeling your Oats thinking you are a Man, don’t forget to keep your Drawers up. That was the best Sex Talk a mother could have with their teenage sons. considering that at fourteen I thought I was a man. When I was eleven years old a thirteen years old Nymphomaniac introduced me and five other boys to sex, lined up. I wonder what became of  her. Probably fifteen kids with Breast hanging to her waist. Regardless the point is that Kids are crawling in the Sack before they learn to read, I know that to be a fact because I met them in High school, illiterate with big Boobs and spandex, school the farthest from their minds. Yet these same people are dropping kids like litter and when they can’t deal with the stress of an infant crying they shake, smother and bat them around like Rag Dolls.




They aren’t ready for the Job of parenting and their Parents never had that sex talk with them. I am not talking about the Birds and the Bees, way too late for that, I am talking about the responsibility that goes with having sex at sixteen with no protection. The consequences are monumental, including diseases no education and no skills to make a living to provide for their indiscretions.  When righteous minded people have children they know that basically their lives have stopped. The kids have to eat whether you do or not, they need clothes even if you don’t have, they need care even if you don’t care for yourself. They Cry for no reason, they are like the Boss that you hate, always wet and full of shit, but that’s what crawling in the Sack brings. That one moment of pleasure bring a lifetime of responsibility and neglect of yourself, because they come first in all facets of your life.




Immature children having babies don’t know this. When I was seventeen I observed a sixteen years old mother made a bed on the Floor placed her infant child on it and went out dancing on a Saturday night. What did I know at seventeen that I should have called child welfare agencies. These are the same people who shake their babies violently when they cries continuously till they are dead. I wrote about Annie the love child of two eighteen years old Kids,  thirteen years later from being raised by her single mom and the resentment of not being able to see her Dad who she was crazy about.



Annie was so rebellious and prone to trouble, she was one step away from becoming the ward of the juvenile justice system. That’s what happens when Kids have kids. In my neck of the woods 14, 15 and sixteen years old Kids losing their lives in a fiery crash at 4: 30 am after a night of stealing cars and racing them at speeds exceeding 100. That’s what you get from kids having kids, their Parents who are too busy living their own shoddy lives to know where their 14 year old is at 4:30 Sunday morning. Allowing them to run wild to their deaths at fourteen, is just as bad as shaking them to death at six months old. I am not being judgmental or critical, just angry that we are not having one of the most important conversation with kids. Letting them know that being sexually active comes with a very big price.

Parenting And Relationships

Fatherless Homes

Anthony Dixon

I am the product of a Fatherless Home so I feel more qualified than anyone with a PhD to speak on the Subject. All you guys out there calling yourselves Players, making it an art form of tricking and deceiving young Women, only to fulfill your selfish sexual gratification. It’s like your only motivation in life is your Jollies and your Brains is between your Legs, whatever is in your Cranium is only Mush, dead flesh. You never take into consideration the destruction you will have created in going around Pollinating young Flowers, by giving them a Child, when you have no intention of sticking around to support and nourish the child. My Dad walked out on us early in my Life, Mom said he had a Gypsy mentally, in today’s Lingo, a Player. It’s all good following your Heart, but what of the life you have created, does it ever occur to you that your actions could be creating Mayhem for Society. Fatherless Boys like myself goes out of their way to find trouble to fill the void in their lives that you have created. I have been very unfortunate to have grown up and went to School with many Players, one of them made Valentino looked like a Boy Scout. Harry was the greatest womanizer(Player) I have ever known, he had a Woman in every State and in Canada. He spent days and weeks away from his Wife, you would think that he was a traveling Salesman, while she was Pregnant he was still out there Pollinating.

There has to be one of two Defects, your Penis is the Module centre of your Cranium ,or you can’t have any Brains to consider Venereal disease and the burdens placed on Society to take care of your indiscretions, also to feel the wrath of Rejection they lay on Society, all because of your moment of heat. Which brings us to Defect #2 , you are constantly in Heat,  you are no better than the Mutt in my Backyard that digs a hole under the Fence to jump the next door neighbor’s Bitch several times daily, calling yourself a Player, take a chill Pill, you are Testicles Driven, what is it about Contraceptive that you don’t understand. The Burden you lay on Society is Astounding, feeding, clothing, caring, Child Welfare and Juveniles Detentions all the way to Adulthood and beyond.

Children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from Parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or who choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children. Statistics don’t lie. The Result of Fatherlessnes. The United States is the leader in Fatherless homes. The Results of our actions, according to the Father’s Manifesto: 63%of youth suicide are from fatherless homes. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. 80% of rapists motivated with displaced angers come from fatherless homes. 71% of High School dropouts come from fatherless homes. 85% of youth in Prisons grew up in Fatherless homes.75% of all adolescent patients in drug treatment centers come from fatherless homes. They are five times more likely to commit suicide, 32 times more likely to run away, 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders. Did I mention Rape, they are 14 times more likely to commit Rape, 9 times more likely to drop out of School, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substance, 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution and 20 times more likely to end up in Prison.

My God it appears that the ills of society come from fatherless homes, I grew up in a fatherless home, but there was only one Mother J as she was called, she help raised her twelve siblings and was Father and Mother to me. As a result of not having a Father Figure, I tested her every step of the way. Thank God she was a strong willed Christian Woman, she kept me from becoming a statistic. Furthermore I was a Latch key Kid, sometimes she worked overtime, sometimes I had eight hours on my own. I had the choice of hanging in the Streets for hours getting stoned, or doing my Homework and being productive in the House. Sometimes I blended activities, nonetheless I tried to comply with her wishes of staying out of trouble and the Prison System. Most kids in a fatherless home and a Latch key Kid like myself don’t cope well as I did, Without a Father Figure, they feel that they have no one to fear, respect and look up to so they run their Mother ragged until she gives up.

There was no giving up in my Mother, the only time she showed any sign of quitting me was when I was seventeen, on my way to be inducted in the Black Panther Party. Dressed in Military Fatigues and a green Beret a Blind Man could read between the lines. She said, if you do what I think you are going to do, don’t come back because you have no home. Her greatest effort in raising me was that I never become a Thug. Chauvinistic young males as early as fourteen believe that there is nothing a Woman can tell them I was one. This a fallout of a Fatherless home, and so begins a lot of the Social Chaos mentioned earlier. In conclusion it just occurred to me that the reason for your needs to be a Player is because you yourself probably grew up in a Fatherless home. Males who grow up in a stable family environment knows the value of two Parents. A child needs a role model to break the Generational Cycle, an adult who will show them a better way. For some children that better way will be a new way of thinking.

P.S. Growing up in a Fatherless Home did not corrupt me, been Married for 37 years.

 
Safe Driving

Safe Driving

Anthony Dixon

Sometimes good fortune finds us unwittingly. At 17 I started going to Driving School, My good fortune was my Driving instructor. He wasn’t only interested in getting paid or me passing the Road Test. This was someone who loved his job and was motivated in creating good Motorists, not just another mediocre Driver, because the average Driver out there is just that. His instructions have kept me and many others alive. After more than 45 years of Driving, many of them Commercially, I have realized that the average Driver is contended with mediocrity until it hits the Fan, then it’s oh my god. It should never have to come to that. The greatest Driving tip he gave to me was to Drive like I am the only one out there that knows what I am doing and to always know where I’m on the Road. Always know who is in front, beside and behind you. I took that advice to the next level, who is above you. Some States use Helicopters to monitor Highway safety.

When approaching a stop Light at forty five or better, quarter mile before you get to the light you should have assessed the Driver behind you to know if he is tailing you too close to stop if the Light change. If he is, you need to change lanes before you get there. That’s how you avoid rear end. That advice falls under the heading( partial negligence) . There are a lot of ways we can avoid accidents if you Drive like you are the only one who knows what they are doing. You are traveling on a main Road with many cross streets, speed limit is forty five, you are doing fifty you need to have your Peripheral vision focused steadily at a half a mile. Impatience, misjudgment and gambling are the major causes of intersection accidents. You need to be the better Driver knowing that whatever can go wrong will go wrong, that way when they screw up you are ready.

I don’t know about you but I get a feeling of superiority when I anticipate an accident and avoid it because I am always looking out for the other guy. Looking out for the other guy is a way of life because there are far too many people behind the wheel that should not be there, Incompetence, impatience, impairment and bad temperament are just a few. That’s why you need to step up your game to compensate for the idiots who is trying to put you in an early Grave. Every time I pass a bad accident where the Road is shut down and there are numerous EMT and fire Rescue vehicles I become a better Driver. Yesterday I turned on the News to find out that a young Woman from my Neighborhood lost her Life on the Route that I take to work. The Road is posted 50 MPH. The Police indicated that she was traveling too fast, made a mistake and overcompensated, rolling the vehicle several times. Thank God there were no other vehicles involved.

To most people coming up on an accident like that doesn’t strike a note or nerve they drive the same way until it’s their turn to be carried away in a Body Bag. Your job is to avoid people like that, by Driving like you are the only one out there that knows what you are doing. There are far too many Suicide Drivers out there for you not to take your Driving seriously. My Commute is quality time for me, surrounded by fine Leather a Bose Stereo System and a Console that Prompts me to listen to my Text messages or dismiss. Why would I want to get in an accident and short Circuit the Computer. My Car does 170 MPH to some people that is a Weapon, to me It’s a tool to avoid mindless Drivers setting up accidents. I am sure by now you guessed it that I am an enthusiast, but most importantly I Drive to Live.