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Life, Parenting And Relationships

The Hurt

Red Flags

Holding on to anger is like drinking Poison and waiting for the other person to die (Buddah)

What in the World is wrong with Angry  People, those who for whatever reason choosing to let one moment of Hurt, Madness, Hate, Disillusionment or whatever reason control their entire lives.  Has anyone ever heard of picking yourself up brushing off yourself and moving on, instead of Dwelling on the Hurt to the point where you don’t exist, only the Hurt. You do whatever it takes to ease the Hurt as in Drugs and Off the Wall behavior. Bad enough Grown People have to encounter hurt, for a Child to experience the Trauma, the Avalanche of Social Discourse ticks like a Time Bomb. My friend was molested somewhere around ten and the Hurt and shame followed him all through the rest of his life.

Remember me telling you about the behavioral problems that followed the Hurt and the Drugs to ease the Hurt. He was a well adjusted child until his misfortune, then his personality, behavior and his attitude toward life took a nosedive. His schoolwork went to Hell he became problematic got into a lot of fights, jumped off a Bridge when he was twelve or thirteen the Doctors never thought he would live, he started using Cocaine before he was fifteen. Talking about Parenting skills, no one saw the Red Flag he was waiving or his screams for help though they were silent they were Deafening. A Deaf Dumb and Blind Man would have sought help for him, his Parents were oblivious to their once normal Child off the wall behavior and thought the child was just a bad Boy as the whole community did.

My Mother always told me that there was good in everyone, well let me tell you Mom there is bad in all of us, it’s just a matter of what it takes to bring it out. The most Important thing about being hurt is you need to tell someone you need to talk about it with someone or it will eat you alive and consume you the way Hate does. My friend died at thirty nine taking his secret with him, never told his Parents or anyone else but me. Call me clairvoyant, call me Empathetic but I see right through People as if they were Transparent. I saw the Good in him that the entire Town didn’t see including his Family, all they knew was that he did bad things and that he was out of control, no one was interested in the Root Cause. The path in life that he took was laid out for him by his Molester and his Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents.

The worse of Hurt comes from someone you love and trust, as in a family member a Teacher or a Priest especially When they lay a guilt trip on you about telling. When I got molested I was fourteen my Mother died not knowing what transpired in the Home of a Teacher who had scoped me out in the Schoolyard, I was never one of his Pupils but he had slated me as his next Victim. His two younger Brothers who were also molested by him Lured me to the house. The difference between my Friend and I was that he was only a helpless Child, I on the other hand was a big fourteen years old who had overcome the Hurt of two severe beatings by two grown Men, one a family member the other a Church Brother, I was only eight.

Those two beatings brought out the bad in me. My Molester didn’t have a clue who he wanted to Rape, with a handful of my Testicles he tried to pull them from their housing. The poor fool didn’t know that only Months ago I won the fight of my Life from a sixteen years old who was a skilled street fighter, his two older Brothers were Gunmen who caught many Bullets before they caught up with me. Teachie as he was called tried to squeeze me into submission, I closed my Eyes while visualizing his face, with a Rabbit Punch I nailed him in his left Eye so hard I am certain that he eventually would have lost that Eye. The Eye immediately filled up with Blood, he released my Testicles as if they burned his hands, he screamed to his Brothers for help, the older one stood up, I grabbed a Steak Knife and decided to Butcher all three of them for putting me through this embarrassment.

The Lord have always channeled my Anger, I put the Knife down and walked out. In my case the Hurt wasn’t much only two sore Testicles but not my Manly Pride. My Mother was neither Deaf Dumb or Blind she worked with me through those difficult years, with God’s help I have lived a normal life and never spent a day in Prison and never had to kill anyone. My friend on the other hand spent many years in confinement after coming full circle with a bad Life, one Day after sitting at my Kitchen table he was on Tv for taking his Girlfriend and his Child Hostage. That was the last time I saw my friend, he died two years ago at thirty nine from all the bad Life that the Hurt had caused him to live.

He told no one but me, it took fifty years for me to openly talk about mine, don’t live in silence it will make you angry all the time and you won’t know why, Anger will eat you alive along with those around you. In conclusion I am begging all you Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents out there to be Vigilant of the Red Flags that your Kids wave and sudden behavioral change, remember that silence says a lot. Forget about your mundane life and invest some time in your juvenile delinquent offspring, oftentimes there is a message in their bad behavior, caught in time you could save Society from the Havoc that awaits.

In my neck of the woods Tampa, over the last three years Society have felt the wrought of two young men that must have been hurt at one point or another to have lashed out on Society the way they did. One at sixteen Raped a sixty one year old Woman, obviously he hated the Grandmother figure, remember Rapist don’t do it for the pleasure only for the Hurt they inflict, within one year he Raped again this time an eighteen years old College Bound, this time all his Hurt and Hatred was levied on this poor young Woman, the beating left her in a Vegetative State for the rest of her Life. His Parents were Deaf Dumb and Blind to the Red Flags, so was the Parents of the other who worked by Day at McDonald’s, at nighttime he terrorized a Neighborhood killing four of it’s Residents randomly over a one Month’s Murderous Rampage. I guess his Parents also were Deaf Dumb and Blind  to the early warning signs of his Red Flags.

P.S.   Be soft. Do not let the World make you hard. Do not let the Pain make you Hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

Related

Psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.

Because trauma differs between individuals, according to their subjective experiences, people will react to similar traumatic events differently. In other words, not all people who experience a potentially traumatic event will actually become psychologically traumatized.  However, it is possible for some people to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being exposed to a major traumatic event.This discrepancy in risk rate can be attributed to protective factors some individuals may have that enable them to cope with trauma; they are related to temperamental and environmental factors from among others. Some examples are mild exposure to stress early in life.

Safe Driving

The Driver

 

 

The Driver

Well I guess by now you know  that Driving is one of my passions and one of my Pet Peeves, I would give up several Hours in Voluntary work to be able to go out there one Day and not having to worry about the other Guy or Girl. This is something my Driving Instructor embedded in me forty eight years ago and I have never stopped looking out for the other Guy. It was Twelve A.M. Tuesday traveling on US19 doing 65 on a 55 strip of Road, someone to my right was one car ahead of me, out of darkness on a busy Road I am knocking Eyeballs ( staring at each other) with a beautiful young woman in High Heels gingerly crossing one of the most Murderous Roadway in any Atmosphere, against the Light.

I stabbed my Brakes and released then pumped, giving her enough time to avoid my Bumper and being missed by the Vehicle to my right by three feet traveling at 67. It would not have been pretty had I not being focused, That’s what I am talking about always looking out for the other guy. They do it walking, riding a Bicycle, a Motorcycle or a Mercedes Benz, I am not blowing Smoke, I leave that to my exhaust. I love driving so I Respect the Vehicle, no word of Lie, sometimes I have to drive like a Jedi to avoid damaging its beautiful Chromed Grill, but most off all I love and respect Life. And so every time I get behind the wheel it is a Chore instead of a Pleasure, due to your Callous attitude towards Life ( yours and others) and your Cavalierious attitude towards Driving.

Being  responsible  Focused and aware for the little time you use our Roadways is not asking a lot, there is plenty of time to be Stupid elsewhere, not behind the wheel or crossing the street. Just the other day I discussed with my wife that beside our Automobile Insurance Premiums we paid an additional forty Dollars for irresponsibile people, that’s known as Uninsured Motorist coverage. That’s another Blog and another time,  Pedestrians always have the Rightaway, that doesn’t give them the right to be Stupid, the 🚴 Bicyclist is one Pedal behind the Pedestrian’s stupidity. Twelve A.M. same Roadway U.S. 19 two miles further, heavily Barricaded Lanes, heavy construction in progress, from the same Darkness that this Woman’s Fate was in front of my Windshield, was now a Man I would say either drunk or mentally challenged on a Bicycle with little to no lights.

I veered hard left missing a Cone he turned into me I stopped on a Dime, why do I always have to be a Jedi. I can’t tell you the amount of Motorcycles I have seen laid down and the Rider ten feet away covered with a Tarp, all because they ride like someone with a death wish, sometimes they get their wish. They say that the Lord looks out for Babies and Fools, well so do I on a daily basis. The cars are another Blog, there are no other activities that I have observed that brings out the Fools in us as Driving does. Why does every Driver gets behind the wheel and become delusional thinking that he or she is a Racecar Driver. Whenever I don’t feel like being a Jedi I use Eastlake Road, the road is posted 50 MPH but there is always someone doing better than 70.

One month ago one of my Neighbors only thirty years old lost her life eight A.m. on a Monday, flipped and rolled the Vehicle several times, she wasn’t wearing a Seatbelt. The amount of rollovers I have seen if I am going one Block I Buckle up. Three weeks later on this same strip of Road I am pulling an Infant from a Truck that went out of control flipping and rolled at least three times. Most of you speedsters have never witnessed the flipside of Driving so you continue to Drive mindlessly until you are crawling on your Belly to exit your fine Automobile now on it’s way to the Junkyard. With over forty five years of always looking out for the other Guy, I can positively tell you that when it comes to Driving very few of us aspire to be Jedi Pilots on a mission to save Lives, essentially our own. By the time you realize how important it is to be astute behind the wheel it’s too late for you or someone else. As the saying goes ” Eyes wide open but you just don’t see”.

Related Stories

High School Student Critical After East Lake Road Crash

TBadmin TBadmin

5 hours ago

Police Lights | Florida | TB Reporter

The student was on a bicycle headed to East Lake High School, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

EAST LAKE – A high school student was critically injured in a traffic crash on East Lake Road this morning (Dec. 12), the Florida Highway Patrol said.

The student, a 15-year-old Palm Harbor girl, was airlifted to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Tampa. She was in critical condition. She was not wearing a bicycle helmet.

The driver, Michelle Nash, 51, of Holiday, was not injured. Troopers cited her for Driving While License Suspended.

The crash happened about 6:50 a.m. at the intersection of East Lake Road and Pine Ridge Boulevard in the East Lake area of Pinellas County.

Troopers said Nash was driving a 2004 four-door car south on East Lake Road. She entered the intersection under a green light. The student was riding a bicycle on her way to East Lake High School when she crossed East Lake Road into the car’s path. As a result, troopers said, the two collided.

The crash closed the road until about 7:27 a.m.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Mean Streets

To all you youthful Rebels out there who think that your life is a living Hell living under what you might consider to be a Dictatorship. Slow down and look at the big Picture, a lot of us are on this Earth strictly by accident. Our Parents never meant to have us, but out of an act of nature you were conceived, and there was no going back. Many of our Parents were just Kids themselves when they crawled into the Sack and got knocked up. Some without a conscience abort their mistakes, consider yourself lucky as I do. I myself was a late Pregnancy, my Mother got Pregnant at thirty seven her entire Family advised her to have an Abortion because the Pregnancy was dangerous at that age with poor Health.

Thank God she didn’t listen to them, otherwise I would not be here to tell you that no matter how bad it is where you are it’s worse out there on the Streets. From fourteen to eighteen I was a product of the Streets, I undermined all my Mother’s Christian Teachings, hard work and Dedication to raise an Upstanding World Class Citizen. At fourteen years old I was introduced to the finest Marijuana grown around the World by a twelve year old Boy who went to Catholic School. His older Sister was an Airline Steward, she was the Mule that brought the finest Weed grown from around the World to the Bronx. Her older brother was the Dealer, their Parents were the Pillars of the Community, one a Public Servant the other a CPA.

I was a Rebel without a Cause or a clue doing stupid Shit just to prove that I was a Man being Raised by a Single Mom, and to let her know that I wasn’t going to listen to a Woman. That Woman was Godsend in delivering me from the Streets. At fourteen while doing my Laundry she found an Ounce of Marijuana in my Pocket, flushed it in the Toilet, not a word was said of her find.

Several Weeks later she sat me down and Counseled me of the dangers of smoking Weed and what it could lead to as a Gateway Drug, instead of kicking me out of her House into the Streets where I belonged with my Bitch Ass Attitude about being Raised by a Single Mom. She knew how the Streets were, seen as how her Parents kicked her out of their Home when she got Pregnant with her first Kid.

For four more years she put up with my Crap. Her secret Weapon was her strong belief in God, that we were all put on this Earth to go through Trials and Tribulations, the purpose, to make us strong and Triumphant. Also she used the Technique of Love and Logic Parenting style on me, allowing me to screw up as much as I wanted to, then coming full Circle with my actions and face the consequences, while counselling me about Crime and Punishment.

Mass Murderer

After four years of living the Street life of Drinking Colt 45, Old English and smoking the finest Weed from around the World, while steadily being prodded to sell it.

I squeaked out of High School barely Literate from the beating I put on my Brain from smoking all that High quality Weed for four years, when I should have been prepping myself for College to become a Literary Scholar, instead of Partying my Life away. In the end Mom was Triumphant, at eighteen I realized that if I continued hanging in the Streets it would only be a matter of time before I was selling Kilos, and doing time with Brothers who wanted to make me their Woman. At that point in my young life I had seen the Light and since steadily walked the straight and narrow. One of my Cousins took an Offer that I refused, made himself Wealthy, caught five Bullets and did fifteen years in Prison, forget about the money, those were my five Bullets and my fifteen years. What good would it have done me to become wealthy while losing my Soul to the Streets. What I am trying to tell you young Rebels, is the Streets is no place to be Somebody. It is better to stay in what you may consider an oppressive situation, make it your Job, your Vendetta, your Driving Force to become Educated and set yourself Free.

P.S. this is my Tribute to Tom Petty’s Soul Asylum.

Lyrics

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life’s mystery seems so faded.